DADS JOKE SUBMIT


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Help me to remember when I'm having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up, that it takes:-
42 muscles to frown
28 muscles to smile
And only four muscles to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth





As suspicious as a monk on a nunnery wall at midnight with a jug of sacrimental wine and a box of condoms





Daughter: Dad, have you had a hair cut?

Dad: Yes Several.





What ticks on the wall?

Ticky-tape.





A prayer for the stressed

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those that I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.





Dad:
Do you want anymore pie with your tomato sauce?
(usually accompanied with a nudge in the arm)





Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick.



submitted by Harry McBungus

Only week two and already I've got my kit off. This photo was a source of much consternation. I went out one morning at dawn dressed only in jeans and a big jacket. I set up the shot but realised that in the park I had chosen there were simply far too many people already up and doing their duties at dawn. (Freaks!) I changed location a few days later and took the photo in Alice's backyard. We both agreed that it would be for the best if Alice wasn't on location for the shoot.

How is the leaf affixed you ask? Well, without being to indescrete,.. A rubber band,... is a very versatile invention.

,...

Hmm, I wonder is that discolouration is normal.

What is the shortest poem in the world?

'Fleas'
'Adam had 'em.'



'Dad, are we going straight home?'

'No son, we're going to turn some corners'




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dan@invisiblespiders.com