DADS JOKE SUBMIT


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submitted by Kath Tindale

Step one. Procrastinate for two weeks. Step Two, Grab my sister Chelle for one of the breif moments that she's home to help out. Step Three, press button. Heaven knows why I took so long to get this up but I'm sure it involved alcohol and other related poisons. A little bit of Special effects thrown in to imply movement and an Onamatipoeia for good measure.

Thanks to Chelle for letting me smack her in the face and Kath again for the joke. Your Dad is a Gold Mine.

Help me to remember when I'm having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up, that it takes:-
42 muscles to frown
28 muscles to smile
And only four muscles to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth



As suspicious as a monk on a nunnery wall at midnight with a jug of sacrimental wine and a box of condoms





Daughter: Dad, have you had a hair cut?

Dad: Yes Several.





What ticks on the wall?

Ticky-tape.





A prayer for the stressed

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those that I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.





Dad:
Do you want anymore pie with your tomato sauce?
(usually accompanied with a nudge in the arm)





Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick.





What is the shortest poem in the world?

'Fleas'
'Adam had 'em.'





'Dad, are we going straight home?'

'No son, we're going to turn some corners'




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dan@invisiblespiders.com