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Help me to remember when I'm having a bad day and it seems that people are trying to wind me up, that it takes:-
42 muscles to frown
28 muscles to smile
And only four muscles to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth



submitted by You know who (Ed's note: I know who this is but you probably don't)

Another Jesus Joke. Yay! I grabbed Steve to help out again and he informed me that he'll be shaving soon and if I have any more Jesus jokes they'll need to be done before then. The monk's robe was actually in my props pile. It's amazing the junk I've collected over the years. It was a bit too red so I fudged the colour a bit in post.

In fact, all in all, this was a really easy shot to take because I had all the stuff. The condoms (You see? I'm responsible) the wine (Not that responsible. Woo!), and the big brick wall.

The wall in question belongs to the big brick house that I'm living in. It was a slightly scary shot to take as the other side of the wall drops 6 metres onto concrete. Best to make sure that I've got a good sense of balance before sitting on it.

As suspicious as a monk on a nunnery wall at midnight with a jug of sacrimental wine and a box of condoms



Daughter: Dad, have you had a hair cut?

Dad: Yes Several.





What ticks on the wall?

Ticky-tape.





A prayer for the stressed

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those that I had to kill today because they got on my nerves.





Dad:
Do you want anymore pie with your tomato sauce?
(usually accompanied with a nudge in the arm)





Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick.





What is the shortest poem in the world?

'Fleas'
'Adam had 'em.'





'Dad, are we going straight home?'

'No son, we're going to turn some corners'




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dan@invisiblespiders.com