Dan Beeston is

Brushing Off Invisible Spiders

April 2026
The Wild Robot The pacing in this film is kind of baffling. Be prepared for a story that's quite... bitzy. I feel like the screenplay needed to divert from the book a little more.
March 2026
Novocaine Jack Quaid is a charisma bomb. Watching his geeky action star save the day is very charming.
February 2026
TMNT 2019 The TMNT origin story through the lens of Michael Bay. It's no better nor worse than what you'd expect it to be.
January 2026
A 90s Christmas Uncharismatic cast and a high concept idea that never reaches its heights.
December 2025
Mean Girls Finally watched this. Laughed out loud many times. Gosh the movies were great back then.
October 2025
Elio A really solid piece of Pixar fare after a decade of mostly trash.
September 2025
10 things I hate about you Nice to revisit this problematic delight.
Moana 2 Soulless, poorly written garbage cashing in on the name. Up there with classics like 'Aladdin and the King of Thieves'. Avoid!
August 2025
Fountain of Youth Charmless, D-grade rip-off of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Luck Mediocre. In universe logic is too fragile.
The Gorge It starts out with a lot of intrigue but moves along at a frenetic pace. Once the big mystery is uncovered it's basically like watching someone play a video game.
January 2025
Deadpool and Wolverine It's pretty average. Not a patch on 'Deadpool ever after'
December 2024
Doctor Who - Xmas 2024 The Christmas special was pleasant enough though they are definitely skewing younger in their storytelling.
Hot Frosty Does what it promises and does it well. A pleasant diversion on a Christmas afternoon.
November 2024
The Wedding Singer Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore at their best. Really good simple rom-com.
Pleasantville Charmingly delightful to revisit.
Ghost Buster: Frozen Empire Just terrible pandering garbage. Awful! Just goddamn awful.
The Fall Guy Fun action film with a couple of stellar stunt sequences.
Relax, I'm from the Future Charming indie film with a fun spin on time travel.
October 2024
Inside Out 2 Generic pap. Misses what's so glorious about the first one. Disappointing to hear its so commercially successful.
August 2024
Red vs Blue - Restoration Just terrible maudlin garbage. Poor pacing. Bad story. Wobbly fan service.
Quantumania Feels like the same generic Marvel script and they just switch out the names and the locations.
May 2024
My Octopus Teacher Very personal doco about a guy who befriends an octopus. Weird presentation but novel enough to be engaging.
March 2024
Jungle Cruise Knows what it is and does a good job at it.
National Treasure A very dumb film about clever treasure hunters. Oddly charming in its own way.
Dial of Destiny A weirdly more grounded film than the others with too much CGI and the chance at a much better ending.
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Very fun to watch. Loses its way in the last ten minutes but still good Indiana Jones film.
The Last Crusade The best Indiana Jones film. Great action. Great performances.
Temple of Doom Cheesy but with plenty of nostalgia.
February 2024
Raiders of the Lost Ark Beautifully crafted classic film.
Elemental Very average Pixar fare.
The Marvels Lacked good storytelling and relied mostly on Ms Marvel being very watchable.
January 2024
Bill and Ted face the music Not a patch on the original.
December 2023
Renfield Very gory dark comedy. Good performances.
Confess Fletch Not a great story but John Hamm is always watchable and the writing is amusing.
DnD: Honour Amongst Thieves Playful romp that was pleasant enough to watch and some great action scenes.
November 2023
The Super Mario Bros. movie This was more enjoyable that it had any right to be. Nostalgic soundtrack did most of the heavy lifting though.
Don't Look Up Slightly heavy handed satire and not really super funny.
October 2023
Happiness for Beginners Just the worst rom-com ever. A couple of nice moments. No chemistry between stars.
Love at First Sight Trashy rom-com with a good heart.
Puss in Boots - Final Wish Better than average. No real surprises.
September 2023
Nimona Beautiful, funny and left me thinking for days about the terrible messaging in it.
Finch I couldn't stop thinking about the AI of the robot and how it didn't make sense. Also didn't care for the dog.
March 2023
Encanto A little too many 'manifest destiny' vibes but good songs.
Lightyear Pretty fun Pixar fare.
Luca Mediocre kid's film. Nothing in this for adults.
Star Trek Beyond A decent little adventure with some cool stuff.
Thor: Love and Thunder It feels like a lot of deleted scenes were left in the movie. Doesn't deserve the emotional scenes it wants to have.
February 2023
The Sea Beast Pretty solid little kids film. I liked it enough.
Enola Holmes 2 Not a great detective story but pleasant enough to watch. Has my surname mentioned in it which was a treat.
January 2023
Star Trek - 2009 Watching this again after TNG makes me realise just how bad this movie is. Too much sex and violence.
Bad Eggs Needed some comfort food. Such a pleasure to see this again. 20 year anniversary this year.
December 2022
Turning Red Some charming moments but it's very targeted towards a specific demographic that I am not a part of.
TimeCrimes Odd little Italian time travel story. Does plenty with a little. Slightly better than average.
Galaxy Quest Such a great film. It takes its conceit and runs with it.
Star Trek - Nemesis Not as clever as the others. A bit too rambunctious and doesn't really earn the emotional beats. A portent of what was to come.
November 2022
Star Trek Insurrection Top notch sci-fi.
Star Trek First Contact I remember this movie well. So lovely to revisit it. Probably my favourite.
Star Trek Generations So much more context this time. Like a good episode.
August 2022
TrainWreck Documentary on Netflix about the Woodstock 99 riot. Lots of semi-misinformation. The creators had an agenda.
May 2022
Dr Strange 2 Standard MCU fare with little story and pretty set pieces. Not that impressive.
April 2022
Palm Springs Charismatic time loop film. I had my expectations too high but nice enough.
Everything, Everywhere, All at once. Frenetic and silly. Enjoyable without being life-changing.
Johah Hex I half watched this while doing something else and it seems like nonsense.
March 2022
The Adam Project Great sci-fi conceit that turns into generic action a third of the way through.
February 2022
The Tinder Swindler Interesting but somewhat unsatisfying true crime story.
January 2022
Knives Out A pretty decent murder mystery film.
December 2021
Spiderman - No Way Home The underlying mechanism that requires linking cool set pieces together feels a bit unnatural and uninspired this time round. Good fan service though.
Spiderman - The Europe one Spiderman does whatever a spider can. Was pleasant enough but probably would have been better if I hadn't been spoiled on plot points.
November 2021
GhostBusters: Afterlife Though character development was minimal and plotting formulaic it was fun to watch.
No Time to Die A fun enough James Bond movie.
August 2021
Bo Burnham's Inside Oh my heart! This was incredibly artful and touching.
July 2021
Inner Space It's amazing how simple the storylines from these old films were.
June 2021
Code 8 Neat world building ends without a decent climax.
Space Cop Irredeemable.
The Switch Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston in a terrible terrible film about rape by deceit. Fun to make fun of.
May 2021
Jumanji - Welcome to the Jungle Vaguely amusing kid's film with a handful of decent laughs.
April 2021
The Platform Brazilian psychological thriller. Wonderfully engaging until it just stops. Dead. Unsatisfying.
Venom Enjoyed this when I was on a plane. Revisiting it is... grounding.
Soul Like pizza, even when they're average, Pixar movies are great.
March 2021
Spy Melissa Macarthy does a great job. Very funny and engaging film.
February 2021
The Apartment It's nice watching old films occasionally. They care so much about the product but have no short-cuts to help them with pacing.
Cadillac Man Robin Williams and Tim Robbins is an intimate little film where little happens.
Beverley Hills Cop Holy Cow! This film is still so great. When the theme cropped up I had a nostalgic moment.
Robocop 2 A pale imitation of the first film but does has some delightful moments.
January 2021
CrackerJack I love a good underdog sports movie. This one about lawn bowls is one of my favs.
November 2020
Spectre Latest James Bond. Ticked every box. Great fun.
John Mulaney The 2 stand up specials on Netflix were a good comedy feast.
October 2020
DOOM Doom was a pretty dumb film with a couple of decent moments. Overall disappointing.
Green Lantern This may be the cheesiest thing I've ever seen. It is... not great.
Enola Holmes Cute teen adventure that kept my interest.