Fuck
You
My
Darling
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Ignore '
written by
Dan
:Monigue says: it says here that ignoring your partner is the most offensive thing you can do, out-ranking ’striking’, ’abusing’ and ’cursing’.
,Tyler news.,Monique news.
,Tyler news.,Monique news.,Tyler news.,Monique silent.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Plants '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: my herb garden isn’t doing very well.
:Monigue says: they say that plants benefit from being talked to.
,Tyler query.,Monique talk.
,Tyler none.,Monique news.
:Tyler says from offstage: alright you foliage sprouting, root spreading, slut of a weed!!! propergate like the filthy mud stained whore that you are!!!
,Tyler none.,Monique shock.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' When I Eats Me Spinach '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: hi.
:Monigue says: umm...hello.
,Tyler talk.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: i thought you’d asked the owner of the womb that spawned you to stop spying on us.
:Monigue says: i did. what makes you think she hasn’t?
,Tyler talk.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: well, the pair of false teeth embedded in the windowsill of the upstairs bathroom was a bit of a giveaway.
:Monigue says: that would explain the loud thud we heard last night.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Was Your Father a Glazier? '
written by
Goatlord
,Tyler coffee.,Monique news.,Tyler none.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: so...how’s the invisibility potion then?
,Tyler none.,Monique shock.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Clumps of Hair '
written by
Dan
:Monigue says: would you please clean the shower recess of the clumps of hair you lose in the morning?
:Tyler says: it just means i’m more manly.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: if you don’t do something about it, i certainly will.
:Tyler says: if you want to find a way to stop my hair falling out, be my guest.
,Tyler news.,Monique talk.
a few predictable days later.
:Tyler says from offstage: oh god help!! someone replaced my shampoo with superglue and now my head is stuck to the nozzle. oh god!! i can’t turn the cold water off!!!!
aiiiiiiiiiiy!!!!!
:Monigue says: so manly.
,Tyler none.,Monique news.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Without a Parachute '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: i saw dave today, just a chance meeting in the street. it was surreal, he walked up to me to shake hands and i just drove my fist into his face. his limp body flew backwards and crashed with a sickening thud into the pavement.
:Monigue says: dear god tyler! he was your best friend.
:Tyler says: i know, i was horrified myself at the time, right up until i remembered a telling moment in our history.
,Tyler talk.,Monique shock.
:Tyler says: he introduced us.
:Monigue says: oh...that’s right...fucker.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
,Tyler news.,Monique news.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' I see Donkeys! '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says: do you believe in ghosts?
:Tyler says: do i...you’re joking right? isn’t that a part of the ’getting to know you’ phase of the relationship? how long have we been married? have i been mistaken in the belief that our ’honeymoon’ phase is looong over?
:Tyler says: you know what would be better than this? double shots of absinth...yeah...fuck yeah!
,Tyler angry.,Monique query.
:Monigue says: i only ask, as i was passing the liquor cabinet earlier and i thought i saw a ghost holding a donkey up on high, ready to beat the next person to come near said cabinet with said donkey. i just wanted a second opinion as to whether or not i was going mad.
:Tyler says from offstage: my dog has no nose!
:Monigue says: beware!
,Tyler none.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says from offstage: man this shit be good...i see donkeys!
:Monigue says: right, not going mad.
:Tyler says from offstage: the pain!!!!
,Tyler none.,Monique news.
Prev 100Prev 30Prev 7Prev DayNext DayNext 7Next 30Next 100
First ComicArchiveToday's ComicInvisible Spiders