i’m sorry. i got drunk at the party last night and made out with another woman.
if it makes it any better she was a horribly ugly mole with a gross vivid green shirt.
you bastard, that was me.
oh, now i really do feel sick.
blast! i dropped my pen.
while you’re down there,..
wow, it says here that 5 out of 6 women dream of cutting off their husband’s manhood and beating him to death with it.
oh wait....no, that’s just me.
so according to this,.. the animal that i am most like would be,...
hmm, a slug.
hah! yeah, i’d agree with that.
me too. the slug has the largest penis in relation to it’s body size of any animal in the known world.
you can be quite heartless when you want to be, can’t you?
i’ve had enough of your failure to mow the lawn so i’ve had the whole thing dug up and replaced with a japanese sand garden.
so i don’t have to mow any more?
no, and i don’t have to complain to you about mowing anymore.
we both win.
yes, we both win.
one month later,..
the lawn needs raking into intricate patterns reflecting our current tao.
ring ring *click*
hi, we can’t come to the phone at the moment because monique is,..
sucking my very life blood away
tyler? what are you doing?
just checking the phone message hon
do you have any pictures of yourself that you don’t need?
we’re making dartboards in anger management class.