F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Youth '

written by

Dan

,..then i’ve got an appointment at the solarium, then it’s off to the beauty parlor for a skin peel.

point one, that’s the most retarded waste of time i’ve ever heard of.

point two. what the hell are you trying to do recapture your youth? it’s not like you were that pretty then either.

at least i don’t try to recapture someone else’s youth.

good god! you let him go? i told you that o’donnally woman wasn’t getting her son back until she cleaned up her footpath!!

three words tyler.
crime. against. humanity.

you’ll make us look soft. now, where did i put my taser.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Trip '

written by

Dan

you’re back?

yeah, why are you so surprised?

oh, no reason. so how was your boogy-boarding holiday to indonesia?

good, except my boogy board got mixed up with someone else’s on the trip. i seem to have someone’s called ’schapelle corby’.

so, what’s in the news back here in australia?

oh, nothing,... nothing at all.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Bored '

written by

Dan

i’m bored!!

well, why don’t you go into the garage and put the car back together.

,.. the car,... back,...

son of a,...

i get bored too.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Time Travel '

written by

Dan

i’m back.

from where?

time travelling.

what the hell are you talking about?

i travelled back from the future.

what? how far?

about 45 seconds.

you’re an idiot!

that’s what you said last time. well, i’m off. seeya later,.. i mean,.. earlier.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' We’re all Individuals '

written by

Goatlord

i ran into justin and louise today. they asked how you were and wanted to know if we would be interested in going to a bbq some time. i told them it was a good idea and suggested that they should invite andrew and cheryl, zoe and ash and john and leeanne. zoe’s little girl just had her first birthday.

hmmm...bbq, sounds good. it makes you wonder though.

bbq’s make you wonder?

no, bbq’s make me hungry. i was speaking of our individuality, no, that’s not quite right. it’s just, our friends know us as tylerandmonique, as we know them as justinandlouise or zoeandashley. i was curious as to when we stopped being just tyler and just monique.

i’m pretty sure i remember the day, i believe an impressive clergyman was involved. did you believe you were ever just tyler?

i guess so.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' The Almighty D’oh! '

written by

Goatlord

i must say, i feel a little better about myself.

it’s been so hard, living day in and day out surrounded by complete and utter morons. to know that every person i would meet was simply just not as good as i, was really quite upsetting.

then i locked my keys in the car.

ha-ha.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' DNA '

written by

Goatlord

are you going to see the doctor about your back today?

no, i’ll be fine. i can sort of walk now. i was talking to my sister earlier and she suggested i take some nurofen... before i go to the doctor.

fine, it’s your back. if you don’t want to listen to either of us, that’s your lookout. just be careful with the nurofen, it’s strong stuff.

i can read monique. the label suggests to take no less than 4 tablets, 6 times a day.

you’re using a definition of "read" that i have been previously unaware of aren’t you?

idiot. "1 every 4 hours. no more than 6 per day." how many did you take?

i took floaty many. why does the newspaper taste like snozberry?