Fuck
You
My
Darling
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Text Messages I Have Received '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says: beware the lord of the fluorescent monkey penis!
:Tyler says: are you drunk????
,Tyler query.,Monique angry.
:Monigue says: i’m having a weekend get together, can i borrow all your buffy and angel dvds?
:Tyler says: lillee is here, 7lb 2oz.
,Tyler talk.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: can you bring a nutcracker?
:Monigue says: i .will freeze your chickens :-(
,Tyler coffee.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Betty or Veronica? '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: zoe or kaylee?
,Tyler query.,Monique coffee.
:Monigue says: kaylee or river?
,Tyler coffee.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: buffy or willow?
:Monigue says: it’s just not fair!
,Tyler query.,Monique angry.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Vows '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: i sometimes think back to what the priest said, the day we were married.
:Monigue says: priest? you mean that guy dressed as elvis?
:Tyler says: oh he was a priest, i’m just not sure from which church.
,Tyler query.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: at any rate, most of it’s foggy but i remember these words like they were spoken yesterday.
:Tyler says: "death do us part"
,Tyler talk.,Monique coffee.
:Monigue says: roll on, reaper.
:Tyler says: amen to that.
,Tyler coffee.,Monique news.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Exs '
written by
Dan
:Monigue says: who was your most memorable ex-girlfriend?
:Tyler says: well,.. there was this italian girl with bad vision and disposable contacts.
:Monigue says: what was so memorable about her?
,Tyler coffee.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: she wore glasses all the time.
:Tyler says: scary, scary girl,..

what about you?
:Monigue says: there was this one guy who was scottish.
,Tyler talk.,Monique coffee.
:Tyler says: were you with him long?
:Monigue says: nah, it was just a highland fling.
,Tyler coffee.,Monique slygrin.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Tivo '
written by
Jeremy
:Tyler says: we need tivo.
:Monigue says: why?
,Tyler news.,Monique news.
:Tyler says: it makes suggestions for shows based on what you like. tivo figures out what kind of person you are.
:Monigue says: we already know what kind of "person" you are.
,Tyler talk.,Monique news.
:Tyler says: i was hoping it could tell us what manner of demonspawn you are, o’ watcher of reality shows.
:Monigue says: one with good taste, o’ watcher of pro wrestling.
,Tyler talk.,Monique news.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Saving Ryan’s Privates '
written by
Jeremy
:Monigue says: care to explain why the tivo is full of pay-per-view porn set in world war two?
:Tyler says: i could take a guess...
,Tyler coffee.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: last week, you recorded saving private ryan.
:Monigue says: and you recorded showgirls. twice.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
,Tyler news.,Monique coffee.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Tivo is Faaabulous '
written by
Jeremy
:Monigue says: what happened to the tivo, darling?
:Tyler says: i reset it, and recorded hours and hours of will & grace, and it still suggests home improvement and mechanic shows. so i tossed it.
,Tyler talk.,Monique query.
:Monigue says: um, why?
:Tyler says: i read that tivo can prove you’re gay.
,Tyler talk.,Monique shock.
:Monigue says: no such luck for you, butch.
:Tyler says: curse my heterosexuality.
:Monigue says: indeed.
,Tyler headinhands.,Monique coffee.
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