Open letter to Jack Thompson

written by Dan
An Open Letter to Jack Thompson.

Dear Mr Thompson,

I am writing to inform you that, despite what you indoctrinate the public with, Video Games do not instigate violence. I notice that you had a 16 year old boy arrested for threatening you with ’the most awful of violence before shooting you’ just like in the video games you claim he was emulating.

It is ridiculous to claim that video games cause people to emulate the protagonists and if you don’t stop spreading this madness I swear to god I’m going to do such unspeakable horror to you.

First off, I’m going to jump onto your back forcing you inside your turtle shell. I’ll then jump on the turtle shell sending it careering into a Goomba.

I shall ingest a huge glowing power pellet and then chase you through a maze before swallowing you whole leaving naught but your terrified eyeballs.

I’m going to Blow massive bubbles at you encasing you within before popping it with my spines and sending your fruit-like corpse spinning off around the room.

I shall leave no freeway uncrossed and no lily pad un-hopped upon.

I shall imprison you deep within a book, locked away on a beautifully rendered island.

I shall sort your various body parts into alternating suites before flinging each part about leaving trails of,.. something.

This is the horror that you will face Jack if you don’t stop your attack on our video gaming. Don’t think I won’t fire up through my own shields to get at you Jack, because I wouldn’t hesitate.

Dan Beeston
posted at 1:33 am Tuesday December 13 2005