Dan Beeston is

Brushing Off Invisible Spiders

Duhctah 'Ew

11th February 2013

An amazing write up at scifind.com put together a list of female doctors and it was a much more interesting reading than I expected. Then of course a flippant comment on Twitter and I've spent the last two hours pouring over a list of Doctors had it been created in Australia.

1st Doctor - Chips Rafferty


I struggled with this, mostly because my knowledge of the sixties comes from American television. I had a vague recognition of Chips Rafferty from an obtuse and confusing scene in a locally written play but no real idea of if he could pull off the role, until I watched this piece of magic from the film 'They're a Weird Mob'. The writing is just so good.

2nd - Pete Smith

At the time he was mostly known for his voiceover work but he'd be a brilliant replacement for Patrick Troughton

3rd - Peter Finch

Best known for his work in 'Network' screaming that he's not going to take it anymore.

4th - Ross Higgins

Okay. Go with me on this one. Take Ted Bullpitt from Kingswood country and strip him of the racism. huh? HUH?!! Yeah.

5th - Grant Dodwell

TV's Mr. Niceguy in the early eighties. Imagine if he'd been saved from 'Willing and Able'.

6th - Paul Chubb

No stranger to portraying a colourful alien.

7th - Gary MacDonald

Is an accomplished comic actor with a dark streak. Put a question mark bowler hat on that head and you're laughing.

8th - Geoffrey Rush

Tell me it wouldn't have been a tragedy for this man to only get one shitty Doctor Who arrow to his bow.

9th - David Wenham

The gritty reboot with a gritty earnest leading man. Though he might have some trouble hitting the manic highs that Christopher Eckleston did.

10th - Eric Bana

Look into those dreamy eyes. He can be goofy. Just look at Full Frontal from the nineties. And he was masterful in Chopper. Man, Now I want him to put on a British accent and be the next doctor.


The 11th Doctor?

You're not going to like this, but it's perfect. Damn it...



Josh Thomas

Awkward, lanky, big chin. And he's just as irritating without a script as Matt Smith is.



Well, your record remains intact. Josh Thomas(insert eleventy interrobangs here). Absolute worst Doctor Who pick, ever. Not worst imaginable - that's Chris Lilley - but picked. Mind you, Chips Rafferty and Ross Higgins weren't much better.

Barry Humphries would have been brilliant vs Higgins while Rafferty might have to stay since there were no other Australian actors in his day (fact!) As for now, how about Wil Anderson?


Tell you what... Take a look at a chunk of interview with Matt Smith.

Then this bit of Josh Thomas eloquently speaking on QandA

Look at the nervous ticks. See the alternating tempo as he queues up his points in his mind. Put aside the notion that he's a precocious little private school jerk who doesn't deserve the success that he's received and place him in the TARDIS with a script and a bow tie.

I didn't consider Barry Humphries. That's a fun idea. Although I think he might be a bit too self important to be the fourth doctor. I think he'd make a better seventh.


Wil Anderson? Well, maybe he could do a tenth doctor, but he's far too "smooth" to be an eleventh doctor.