 i’ve had enough of your failure to mow the lawn so i’ve had the whole thing dug up and replaced with a japanese sand garden.so i don’t have to mow any more?no, and i don’t have to complain to you about mowing anymore.  | we both win.yes, we both win.  | one month later,.. the lawn needs raking into intricate patterns reflecting our current tao.again?!!  |
ring ring *click*  hi, we can’t come to the phone at the moment because monique is,..   | sucking my very life blood away | tyler? what are you doing? just checking the phone message hon *beeep* |
do you have any pictures of yourself that you don’t need?  |   | we’re making dartboards in anger management class. |
| would you like to watch a generic period film?oh, i hate those! why is it that whenever a women coughs, it ends up being the onset of a fatal illness. | what?you watch! a little *caff caff* 20 minutes in and you just know that she’ll be dropped into a hole 60 minutes later. | you have no heart.i mean, don’t these people have vitamin c? eat a frickin’ orange for god’s sake.i wish i could drop you into a hole. |
| it says here that ignoring your partner is the most offensive thing you can do, out-ranking ’striking’, ’abusing’ and ’cursing’. | |  |
| my herb garden isn’t doing very well.they say that plants benefit from being talked to. | | alright you foliage sprouting, root spreading, slut of a weed!!! propergate like the filthy mud stained whore that you are!!! |
| hi.umm...hello. | i thought you’d asked the owner of the womb that spawned you to stop spying on us.i did. what makes you think she hasn’t? | well, the pair of false teeth embedded in the windowsill of the upstairs bathroom was a bit of a giveaway.that would explain the loud thud we heard last night. |