wow, it says here that 5 out of 6 women dream of cutting off their husband’s manhood and beating him to death with it. | really? oh wait....no, that’s just me. |
so according to this,.. the animal that i am most like would be,... hmm, a slug. hah! yeah, i’d agree with that. | me too. the slug has the largest penis in relation to it’s body size of any animal in the known world. | salt? you can be quite heartless when you want to be, can’t you? |
i’ve had enough of your failure to mow the lawn so i’ve had the whole thing dug up and replaced with a japanese sand garden. so i don’t have to mow any more? no, and i don’t have to complain to you about mowing anymore. | we both win. yes, we both win. | one month later,.. the lawn needs raking into intricate patterns reflecting our current tao. again?!! |
ring ring *click* hi, we can’t come to the phone at the moment because monique is,.. | sucking my very life blood away | tyler? what are you doing? just checking the phone message hon *beeep* |
do you have any pictures of yourself that you don’t need? | we’re making dartboards in anger management class. |
would you like to watch a generic period film? oh, i hate those! why is it that whenever a women coughs, it ends up being the onset of a fatal illness. | what? you watch! a little *caff caff* 20 minutes in and you just know that she’ll be dropped into a hole 60 minutes later. | you have no heart. i mean, don’t these people have vitamin c? eat a frickin’ orange for god’s sake. i wish i could drop you into a hole. |
it says here that ignoring your partner is the most offensive thing you can do, out-ranking ’striking’, ’abusing’ and ’cursing’. |