you know that silk tie i own? the one with the little camels? yes. hypothetically speaking, if i spilt some grease on it i should be able to soak it out using bleach, right? | god, no! it would strip it of all it’s colour. hmmm,.. you know your white silk dress? | i don’t have a white silk dress. i have a red,.. silk,.. dress,... |
i slept terribly last night. why can’t you stay on your side of the bed? my side? | fine, whatever! what side is your side of the bed? | the top side. witch! |
settled on your new years resolutions yet? i’ve decided that i am perfectly fine the way i am. | i actually sort of like you this way. |
i’m still hung over. you’re hung over? i think i tried to drink the dog. | i believe the expression is "hair of the dog." i know. | ew. |
i’m sorry. i got drunk at the party last night and made out with another woman. what?! | if it makes it any better she was a horribly ugly mole with a gross vivid green shirt. vivid green,..?? | you bastard, that was me. oh, now i really do feel sick. |
blast! i dropped my pen. | while you’re down there,.. | ow! |
wow, it says here that 5 out of 6 women dream of cutting off their husband’s manhood and beating him to death with it. | really? oh wait....no, that’s just me. |