 it says here that 1 in 4 men dream about murdering their spouses.  | do you dream about murdering me?no.really?  | i believe the term you’re looking for is "fantasize."  |
| it says here that 1 in 4 men dream about murdering their spouses. | do you dream about murdering me?no.really? | i believe the term you’re looking for is "fantasize." |
| the car was making a weird noise. it was a kind of ’squeeeeeeee!’sounds like the fan belt. that shouldn’t be too hard to fix. | actually i don’t think it ’s the fan belt.well the car only makes a ’squeeeeeeee!’ sounds when the fan belt’s slipped. | no, it also makes a ’squeeeeeeee!’ sound when it slips across the medium strip on it’s roof. |
you know that silk tie i own?the one with the little camels? yes.hypothetically speaking, if i spilt some grease on it i should be able to soak it out using bleach, right? | god, no! it would strip it of all it’s colour.hmmm,.. you know your white silk dress? | i don’t have a white silk dress. i have a red,.. silk,.. dress,...  |
| i slept terribly last night. why can’t you stay on your side of the bed?my side? | fine, whatever! what side is your side of the bed?  | the top side. witch! |
settled on your new years resolutions yet?i’ve decided that i am perfectly fine the way i am. |  | i actually sort of like you this way. |
i’m still hung over. you’re hung over? i think i tried to drink the dog. | i believe the expression is "hair of the dog."i know. | ew. |
i’m sorry. i got drunk at the party last night and made out with another woman. what?! | if it makes it any better she was a horribly ugly mole with a gross vivid green shirt.vivid green,..?? | you bastard, that was me.oh, now i really do feel sick. |