F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Remember '

written by

Dan

do you remember when comic strips weren’t just a bunch of talking heads?

do you remember anything before this week?

i have a lot of damage from alcohol misuse.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' We’re all DOOMED! '

written by

Goatlord

that was quite the thunderstorm we had last night.

yeah, sure was. i wasn’t imagining the raining of toads was i?

frogs, i’ll think you’ll find they were.

ah, what do you suppose that was all about?

i’m sure it’s nothing.

it didn’t seem a bit wierd to you?

nah, it’s just one of those rarely occurring, natural phenomena.

righty-o ... how’s that cup of blood you’ve got there.

revelation-icious

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Riot! '

written by

Dan

wow! those riots in france are getting pretty vicious.

i’ll bet the germans are having second thoughts now. ho ho ho.

you know, that joke stopped being funny about 40 years ago.

bah, that joke never stops being funny.

i heard to conceal their identities they were wearing blue and white stripped balaclavas.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' With a capital ’T’ '

written by

Goatlord

i’ve decided my life needs a voice-over.

you want a voice-over?

yeah, like they had in old detective serials, something like...

’trouble’ was tyler’s middle name and just like that hooker’s face, he kept coming across it.

i’m judging you.

you’re just jealous.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Fondle Your Monkey Dags '

written by

Goatlord

i went to the mall for lunch today and was stunned by the sheer number of pregnant teenagers.

ah yes, only the stupid people are breeding. harvey danger knew the score.

who?

nevermind. perhaps the government should be handing out free televisions instead of cash incentives for recklessly increasing the national moron quotient.

remind me to slap your mother. besides, i don’t think it would take the kids long to figure out they could do it doggie-style so they could both watch x-files.

you listen to the bloodhound gang but don’t know who harvey danger is?

so ... you wanna’ do it like they do on the discovery channel?

foxtrot uniform charlie kilo oscar foxtrot foxtrot.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Sentence '

written by

Dan

they say that

when you

spend enough

time together you

end up finishing

each other’s

sentences.

mother fucker!

i constantly feel like i’m in the middle of a sentence.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' No Wang Home '

written by

Goatlord

happy thoughts. long and thick, happy thoughts.

tyler, i’m... jesus h! so much blood! are you ok? what the hell happened?!

nothing to be alarmed about. i’ll be fine.

i got sick of looking at your mother’s false teeth embedded in the bathroom windowsill so i tried to pry them off with a screwdriver. i slipped and cut myself ... off.

that’s no small injury tyler ... so to speak, you should seek medical attention.

i can regrow my own penis thank you very much!

fine, have it your way. so, no wieners for dinner then?

ha. ha ... ow!