F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' GTA: Tales from Dickheadsville '

written by

Goatlord

the pain!

what happened to you?

i was riding my bicycle down the street, playing my psp, the next thing i know i’m lying flat on my back and my face hurts.

you were involved in an accident because you were doing something dumb? interesting.

i wasn’t involved in the crash. the guy who swerved off the road chased me down and punched me.

i ... when did you get a bicycle?

i forgot where i parked my car so i had to walk home. there was a bicycle chained up outside the school that no one was using so...

oh, like you wouldn’t have done the same.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Suck '

written by

Dan

shouuk! shouuk!

slam!

your turn,.. don’t you want to know what i’ve been doing?

i’ve stopped asking about the horrifying noises that come from the bathroom when you’re in there. anyway, i need to shower.

whoooosh!!

my clothes!!

if you’d asked i could have told you how much effort it is to create a vacuum in a room of the house.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Broken China '

written by

Dan

you know what i hate about the chinese?

would it be obtuse of me to guess that you’re reflecting on their constant violation of human rights within their culture?

sushi.

*sigh* i imagine it’s probably impossible to dissuade you from your own personal reality.

i mean, yuck! raw fish,.. gross!

and what’s with that nintendo crap?

and that would be my cue to stop listening now

that ’mario’ guy, he’s not even chinese.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Wife Beating '

written by

Dan

i was just talking to my friend megan. that bastard clive has been beating her up. there’s really nothing worse than someone who gets drunk and abusive.

well,...

oh please don’t tell me you’re about to defend this.

well, at least if he’s drunk and abusive he’d miss more often.

more often than what?

than if he was just abusive.

what are you doing?

having a drink.

that’s a lot of vodka for this time of morning.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' This man is a dentist... '

written by

Goatlord

aargh! dear lord! the pain!

the fan tore my face off!

my god! how?

i put my head in it.

it seemed like a good idea at the time.

of course dear. would you like me to call for an ambulance?

if it’s not too much trouble.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Staring Competition '

written by

Goatlord

cheat! no eye gouging!

booyah!

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Ticket '

written by

Dan

i need to borrow $5 for a lottery ticket.

*sigh* okay, but on one condition. if you win, you have to take me on a sailing trip around the world.

stuck on a boat for months at a time with only you for company?

thank god the odds are 8 million to one.