what’s today? you do not know?! | i was thinking tuesday but it could be wednesday, it kinda feels like a wednesday to me. how can she not know? | dear child, let me break this to you gently, today is devour simian foeti day! i think there’s an arm band or something. nope, the calendar says it’s a tuesday. |
tyler, i want to move. brisbane no longer does it for me, the idiocy rate is unacceptably high. i think you’ll find there’s quite a bit of that going ’round lately. | how about naples or perhaps chamonix? they’re supposed to be wonderful all year. yes but they’re full of foreigners. | fine, what about tasmania? it’s still part of australia. we do have the same last name i suppose. |
happy birfday to me. happy birfday to me. happy birfday dear ... meeeeeeee. happy birfday to me. woooooo! | what the ... tyler, it’s only 7am and you’re already three sheets to the wind! ish ma birfday. fine! happy birthday. i’m off to work. | eeexcelent. ish now time for the watching of da boobies and wearing of frozen cupcakes upon the forehead. lick my frozen monkey nodules! |
the pain! what happened to you? i was riding my bicycle down the street, playing my psp, the next thing i know i’m lying flat on my back and my face hurts. | you were involved in an accident because you were doing something dumb? interesting. i wasn’t involved in the crash. the guy who swerved off the road chased me down and punched me. i ... when did you get a bicycle? | i forgot where i parked my car so i had to walk home. there was a bicycle chained up outside the school that no one was using so... oh, like you wouldn’t have done the same. |
shouuk! shouuk! shouuk! shouuk! slam! | your turn,.. don’t you want to know what i’ve been doing? i’ve stopped asking about the horrifying noises that come from the bathroom when you’re in there. anyway, i need to shower. | whoooosh!! my clothes!! if you’d asked i could have told you how much effort it is to create a vacuum in a room of the house. |
you know what i hate about the chinese? would it be obtuse of me to guess that you’re reflecting on their constant violation of human rights within their culture? | sushi. *sigh* i imagine it’s probably impossible to dissuade you from your own personal reality. i mean, yuck! raw fish,.. gross! | and what’s with that nintendo crap? and that would be my cue to stop listening now that ’mario’ guy, he’s not even chinese. |
i was just talking to my friend megan. that bastard clive has been beating her up. there’s really nothing worse than someone who gets drunk and abusive. well,... oh please don’t tell me you’re about to defend this. | well, at least if he’s drunk and abusive he’d miss more often. more often than what? than if he was just abusive. | what are you doing? having a drink. that’s a lot of vodka for this time of morning. |