F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' A Brief History of Shut-the-Hell-Up '

written by

Goatlord

i just finished stephen hawking’s a brief history of time. i was surprised at how much i thought i understood.

the guy in the wheelchair who dumped his loyal wife and shacked up with a hot nurse? funny.

please, let us bypass the adult conversation and head directly to the childish banter.

sure, ok.

you’re just jealous that you could never pick up women as hot as the ones a guy with motor neuron disease can.

ha ha, you said ... *sigh*

ass.

so, what was this "adult conversation" thing you mentioned earlier?

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' You want lies with that? '

written by

Goatlord

in saudi arabia, did you know that it is legal to skin your neighbour’s children if they cannot recite the entirety of the koran on command?

you are such a liar.

am not.

are so.

uh-ah.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Cheep Gag '

written by

Dan

i see you bought yourself the alfred hitchcock collection.

i watched psycho. it gave me some great ideas.

ho ho ho. well, as fun as this is, don’t you have work?

good point, i’m going,.. heh,. hitch cock!

i wonder if he’ll realise which movie i got my ideas from when he discovers i’ve sewn bird seed into his pants lining.

ieeeeeyyyyy!!!! not a worm,.. not a worm!!!

heh,.. cock,..

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Please support DSF day. '

written by

Goatlord

what’s today?

you do not know?!

i was thinking tuesday but it could be wednesday, it kinda feels like a wednesday to me.

how can she not know?

dear child, let me break this to you gently, today is
devour simian foeti day!
i think there’s an arm band or something.

nope, the calendar says it’s a tuesday.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Deliver Ants '

written by

Goatlord

tyler, i want to move. brisbane no longer does it for me, the idiocy rate is unacceptably high.

i think you’ll find there’s quite a bit of that going ’round lately.

how about naples or perhaps chamonix? they’re supposed to be wonderful all year.

yes but they’re full of foreigners.

fine, what about tasmania? it’s still part of australia.

we do have the same last name i suppose.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Alcohol: Breakfast of Champions '

written by

Goatlord

happy birfday to me. happy birfday to me. happy birfday dear ... meeeeeeee. happy birfday to me. woooooo!

what the ... tyler, it’s only 7am and you’re already three sheets to the wind!

ish ma birfday.

fine! happy birthday. i’m off to work.

eeexcelent. ish now time for the watching of da boobies and wearing of frozen cupcakes upon the forehead.
lick my frozen monkey nodules!

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' GTA: Tales from Dickheadsville '

written by

Goatlord

the pain!

what happened to you?

i was riding my bicycle down the street, playing my psp, the next thing i know i’m lying flat on my back and my face hurts.

you were involved in an accident because you were doing something dumb? interesting.

i wasn’t involved in the crash. the guy who swerved off the road chased me down and punched me.

i ... when did you get a bicycle?

i forgot where i parked my car so i had to walk home. there was a bicycle chained up outside the school that no one was using so...

oh, like you wouldn’t have done the same.