 *burp*woah, must be my nuts coming up.  | cashews, i had some cashews earlier. filthy girl.uh-huh. | there’s a joke somewhere in there about your balls having never dropped but to be quite honest, i couldn’t be stuffed.rude. |
| *burp*woah, must be my nuts coming up. | cashews, i had some cashews earlier. filthy girl.uh-huh. | there’s a joke somewhere in there about your balls having never dropped but to be quite honest, i couldn’t be stuffed.rude. |
 hello, is this the tyler-monique residence?  | unfortunately. we need you to come collect your intoxicated husband from the local police station. | he was found asking a tree for sex, and claiming to be "the lizard queen".*sigh* again? i’ll bring the cage... |
hello? am i comin’ to practice? fo’ shizzle s-bear. ’cow man 7’ will ride again!  | yeah, i’m walking. we just got these new cordless phones. they can be used anywhere in the house, they’re great.tyler don’t take it in there ... tyler! | ahhh. where am i now? let’s just say it’s a relief to have access to such a technological convenience. s-bear?monique, i just lost my call. i don’t think the phones work in here.oh, i’m sure they do ... grot. |
i think our house is haunted.too much tv for you, young man. | no, seriously. something keeps turning things off.like what? | well, first it turned off my sex life, then my love for you, then my will to live.now it just has to turn off your mouth. |
we should go on holidays...to somewhere maybe in europe. | now why should we do that?? sounds like a waste of money to me!it says here that paris has the best nude beaches in the world. | i’ll get the keys!i knew you would see it my way. |
| "fur is murder," right?yes. | what if i was to remove and wear the skins of people who buy fur? is that murder?generally speaking, yes. | oh, that’s no fun.’fraid not. |
bzzzzttttt!!! aaaaaaaarrgh!!!! | diiiiid,... yoouuuuu,... earth,.... miiiiiy,... hair-dryeeeerrr,.. afteeeeeer,.. yoooooou,.... rewirreed,... it,...?yes, of course.whaaaaaat,... wiiiiith?? | my wife.shuuut,... iiit,... ooooff,.. yoooou,.. priiiiick !! |
| serenity comes out tomorrow. glee!didn’t you mention your boss wanted you to stay back late tomorrow to finish off those tps reports? | fuck. | fuck! |
| chilli sauce!!why are you so excited about,... | *cough* *gag* *cough!* | aaaaaaaagh!!!!!chilli sauce!!! |
i crave the flesh of humans!wha... cravings?! oh no! monique, you’re not pregnant are you?! | i am not monique. i am unicron, devourer of worlds. i crave the flesh of humans! | aaaaaaaaaahhhh .... hey, wait a minute...tool. |
| *puff* *gasp*what’s with you?i just travelled back from the past where i killed your grandfather before he could conceive you. |  | by the way, it turns out, your grandma’s a slut. |
| wow! it says here on e! news live that george w. bush is going to marry paris hilton.everything on that show is made up and only stupid people believe them. | lies! you speak lies!did you know the network is changing the show’s name to gullible! news live. | what?! but the name makes up 50% of the show!i rest my case. |
| | nope, this blows.i was enjoying it. |
| tyler! if you don’t get up soon, you’ll be late for work.i’m sleeping in. i don’t feel like going in today. | | you bastard! you’ve been messing with my pda again, it’s saturday!heh. |
ha ha ha ha ha ha  | then they asked--when we were having kids, i know! | ha ha ha ha ha ha |
agh!! jesus!! what the hell is that??!! | i replaced the old dvd player. but,. wha,.. so??!! | this one has a zoom function!!eeeewwwww!!!!and i thought it was big before,.. |
| i played lawn bowls with my friends last night.how do you play that one?you have to try to roll your weighted bowl and get it closest to the jack. | i’ve played a game like that,..mmmm,... | except that you had to get your "jack" closest to the,...leaving now!! |
| "my dog stains are in you thanking"?!what the hell does that even mean? i’m sure the ’translators’ are just pulling the piss. | pulling the piss?y’know: having a lend; pulling your leg; to come a wry one? | and what language are you translating that from? |
| why the hell is there a pentagram sculpted in the sand garden?i was trying to summon a demon of hell to serve my earthly desires. | an excellent use of a saturday afternoon.speaking of which, did you do the washing up like i asked you? | finished!!yup. |
| mmm, i just spent an afternoon playing burnout: revenge with s-bear. so very cool.why can’t you have any grown up hobbies? video games are for children. | hmmm? yes. i was going to get a psp but the graphics for the xbox were great. conundrum!but of course! there is a version of burnout available for the psp. my peepee senses are tingling! | don’t you mean your psp senses?psp senses? don’t be daft.ew ... why do i bother? |
| tyler, you’ve been spending a lot of time on that psp of yours.revenge! ... mm? | quick question: what does your psp and your pp have in common?whoopah! | they’re both handheld and fit easily inside my purse.reven... what?! |
| behold! through meditation i have achieved enlightenment. my consciousness rose to the highest of planes; i basked in its glory, and found that it was cheese. meditate, you? | the experience was akin to floating in a giant fondue, filled with infinity.i thought you said it was made from- | yes, and in this highest of realms, infinity itself, is made, from cheese! |
| they killed wash. | so, you didn’t like serenity? | best movie ever!geek. |
| he’s so dreamy,..why, thank you. | not you! ash mccloud from that new show.you know, he’s not a real actor,.. he just plays one on tv. | what?you heard me. |
| i just finished stephen hawking’s a brief history of time. i was surprised at how much i thought i understood.the guy in the wheelchair who dumped his loyal wife and shacked up with a hot nurse? funny. | please, let us bypass the adult conversation and head directly to the childish banter.sure, ok.you’re just jealous that you could never pick up women as hot as the ones a guy with motor neuron disease can. | ha ha, you said ... *sigh*ass.so, what was this "adult conversation" thing you mentioned earlier? |
| in saudi arabia, did you know that it is legal to skin your neighbour’s children if they cannot recite the entirety of the koran on command? | you are such a liar.am not. | are so.uh-ah. |
| i see you bought yourself the alfred hitchcock collection.i watched psycho. it gave me some great ideas. | ho ho ho. well, as fun as this is, don’t you have work?good point, i’m going,.. heh,. hitch cock! | i wonder if he’ll realise which movie i got my ideas from when he discovers i’ve sewn bird seed into his pants lining.ieeeeeyyyyy!!!! not a worm,.. not a worm!!!heh,.. cock,.. |
| what’s today?you do not know?! | i was thinking tuesday but it could be wednesday, it kinda feels like a wednesday to me.how can she not know? | dear child, let me break this to you gently, today is devour simian foeti day! i think there’s an arm band or something. nope, the calendar says it’s a tuesday. |
| tyler, i want to move. brisbane no longer does it for me, the idiocy rate is unacceptably high.i think you’ll find there’s quite a bit of that going ’round lately. | how about naples or perhaps chamonix? they’re supposed to be wonderful all year.yes but they’re full of foreigners. | fine, what about tasmania? it’s still part of australia.we do have the same last name i suppose. |
| happy birfday to me. happy birfday to me. happy birfday dear ... meeeeeeee. happy birfday to me. woooooo! | what the ... tyler, it’s only 7am and you’re already three sheets to the wind!ish ma birfday.fine! happy birthday. i’m off to work. | eeexcelent. ish now time for the watching of da boobies and wearing of frozen cupcakes upon the forehead. lick my frozen monkey nodules! |