didn’t you mention your boss wanted you to stay back late tomorrow to finish off those tps reports?
fuck.
fuck!
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Chilli Sauce '
written by
Dan
chilli sauce!!
why are you so excited about,...
*cough* *gag* *cough!*
aaaaaaaagh!!!!!
chilli sauce!!!
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Chilled Monkey Brains '
written by
Goatlord
i crave the flesh of humans!
wha... cravings?! oh no! monique, you’re not pregnant are you?!
i am not monique. i am unicron, devourer of worlds. i crave the flesh of humans!
aaaaaaaaaahhhh .... hey, wait a minute...
tool.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Time Travel '
written by
Dan
*puff* *gasp*
what’s with you?
i just travelled back from the past where i killed your grandfather before he could conceive you.
by the way, it turns out, your grandma’s a slut.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' The name of the game. '
written by
Stumpybear
wow! it says here on e! news live that george w. bush is going to marry paris hilton.
everything on that show is made up and only stupid people believe them.
lies! you speak lies!
did you know the network is changing the show’s name to gullible! news live.
what?! but the name makes up 50% of the show!
i rest my case.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Silence is Golden '
written by
Goatlord
nope, this blows.
i was enjoying it.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Up, Up & PDA! '
written by
Goatlord
tyler! if you don’t get up soon, you’ll be late for work.
i’m sleeping in. i don’t feel like going in today.
you bastard! you’ve been messing with my pda again, it’s saturday!
heh.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' At you, not with you. '
written by
Goatlord
ha ha ha
ha ha ha
then they asked-
-when we were having kids, i know!
ha ha ha
ha ha ha
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Zoom '
written by
Dan
agh!! jesus!! what the hell is that??!!
i replaced the old dvd player.
but,. wha,.. so??!!
this one has a zoom function!!
eeeewwwww!!!!
and i thought it was big before,..
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Bowls '
written by
Dan
i played lawn bowls with my friends last night.
how do you play that one?
you have to try to roll your weighted bowl and get it closest to the jack.
i’ve played a game like that,..
mmmm,...
except that you had to get your "jack" closest to the,...
leaving now!!
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Hauling Urine '
written by
Goatlord
"my dog stains are in you thanking"?!
what the hell does that even mean? i’m sure the ’translators’ are just pulling the piss.
pulling the piss?
y’know: having a lend; pulling your leg; to come a wry one?
and what language are you translating that from?
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Signs '
written by
Dan
why the hell is there a pentagram sculpted in the sand garden?
i was trying to summon a demon of hell to serve my earthly desires.
an excellent use of a saturday afternoon.
speaking of which, did you do the washing up like i asked you?
finished!!
yup.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' PSP: Part Un '
written by
Goatlord
mmm, i just spent an afternoon playing burnout: revenge with s-bear. so very cool.
why can’t you have any grown up hobbies? video games are for children.
hmmm? yes. i was going to get a psp but the graphics for the xbox were great. conundrum!
but of course! there is a version of burnout available for the psp. my peepee senses are tingling!
don’t you mean your psp senses?
psp senses? don’t be daft.
ew ... why do i bother?
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' PSP: Part Deux '
written by
Stumpybear
tyler, you’ve been spending a lot of time on that psp of yours.
revenge! ... mm?
quick question: what does your psp and your pp have in common?
whoopah!
they’re both handheld and fit easily inside my purse.
reven... what?!
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Made, from cheese! '
written by
Goatlord
behold! through meditation i have achieved enlightenment. my consciousness rose to the highest of planes; i basked in its glory, and found that it was cheese.
meditate, you?
the experience was akin to floating in a giant fondue, filled with infinity.
i thought you said it was made from-
yes, and in this highest of realms, infinity itself, is
made, from cheese!
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' A Leaf on the Wind '
written by
Goatlord
they killed wash.
so, you didn’t like serenity?
best movie ever!
geek.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Actors '
written by
Dan
he’s so dreamy,..
why, thank you.
not you! ash mccloud from that new show.
you know, he’s not a real actor,.. he just plays one on tv.
what?
you heard me.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' A Brief History of Shut-the-Hell-Up '
written by
Goatlord
i just finished stephen hawking’s a brief history of time. i was surprised at how much i thought i understood.
the guy in the wheelchair who dumped his loyal wife and shacked up with a hot nurse? funny.
please, let us bypass the adult conversation and head directly to the childish banter.
sure, ok.
you’re just jealous that you could never pick up women as hot as the ones a guy with motor neuron disease can.
ha ha, you said ... *sigh*
ass.
so, what was this "adult conversation" thing you mentioned earlier?
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' You want lies with that? '
written by
Goatlord
in saudi arabia, did you know that it is legal to skin your neighbour’s children if they cannot recite the entirety of the koran on command?
you are such a liar.
am not.
are so.
uh-ah.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Cheep Gag '
written by
Dan
i see you bought yourself the alfred hitchcock collection.
i watched psycho. it gave me some great ideas.
ho ho ho. well, as fun as this is, don’t you have work?
good point, i’m going,.. heh,. hitch cock!
i wonder if he’ll realise which movie i got my ideas from when he discovers i’ve sewn bird seed into his pants lining.
ieeeeeyyyyy!!!! not a worm,.. not a worm!!!
heh,.. cock,..
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Please support DSF day. '
written by
Goatlord
what’s today?
you do not know?!
i was thinking tuesday but it could be wednesday, it kinda feels like a wednesday to me.
how can she not know?
dear child, let me break this to you gently, today is
devour simian foeti day!
i think there’s an arm band or something.
nope, the calendar says it’s a tuesday.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Deliver Ants '
written by
Goatlord
tyler, i want to move. brisbane no longer does it for me, the idiocy rate is unacceptably high.
i think you’ll find there’s quite a bit of that going ’round lately.
how about naples or perhaps chamonix? they’re supposed to be wonderful all year.
yes but they’re full of foreigners.
fine, what about tasmania? it’s still part of australia.