F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Hotdogs '
written by
:Tyler says: hotdogs for dinner!!
:Monigue says: chicken hotdogs.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: hot chicken?
:Monigue says: chicken hotdogs,.. instead of pork.
,Tyler query.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: hot pigs?
:Monigue says: you knew hotdogs weren’t made of dogs didn’t you?
:Tyler says: *gaspie*
,Tyler shock.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Lick Me! All of You! '
written by
:Tyler says from offstage: *cough* *cough* *hurk*
:Monigue says: tyler, are you ok?
:Tyler says from offstage: just a couple of hairballs, i’ll be fine.
,Tyler none.,Monique query.
:Monigue says: how on earth...? i thought you were going out today to prove me wrong about getting high from licking frogs or more specifically, toads.
:Tyler says from offstage: *hurk* and i did! i’ve been licking ... frogs?
,Tyler none.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: have you got any idea how many dogs i’ve licked today!?
:Monigue says: ah, the scientific method, i’ll have my moron, ’à la descartes.’
,Tyler angry.,Monique slygrin.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Cats '
written by
:Tyler says: fur is murder so no-one wears fur anymore,..
:Tyler says: but cats are a menace to our indigenous wildlife.
,Tyler talk.,Monique coffee.
:Tyler says: we should start a business that sells cat furs.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique shock.
:Monigue says: that is,.. a horrible idea.
:Tyler says from offstage: i’m going to check if the domain name ’hellokitty.com’ has been taken yet.
,Tyler none.,Monique headinhands.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' To have and to hold. '
written by
:Tyler says: i’m sorry monique. i’ve just realised how beautiful you truly are, i had forgotten.
:Monigue says: oh tyler, i don’t know what to say.
:Tyler says: ... especially your neck.
,Tyler talk.,Monique shock.
:Monigue says: my neck?
:Tyler says: shhh, say nothing my dear. just let me touch your neck, the way i used to. i must have it. let me hold your neck.
,Tyler talk.,Monique query.
:Monigue says: ah, i feel this is one of those occasions that can only end in tears ... yours.
:Tyler says: i will love it and pet it and love it and squeeze it and call it george.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' For better or for worse. '
written by
:Tyler says: this was a great idea monique. i can’t remember the last time we got drunk together.
:Monigue says: yes, you males love to equate drinking with having a good time. actually, i have to relay some important news to you.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: i’m pregnant. your going to be a daddy.
:Tyler says: what!? oh no, that’s ... wait ... that’s really great news monique! i’m going to be a dad! i am the happiest man alive!
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: really? that makes my heart swell tyler because i’m not really pregnant, however, your mum called earlier and said your grandma was run over by a school bus.
:Monigue says: they just don’t make toys like they used to.
,Tyler shock.,Monique slygrin.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' For richer, for poorer. '
written by
television blares! 4. 8. 15. 16. 23 and 42 make up tonight’s lotto numbers.
:Tyler says: holy snapping duck shit! we’re rich!
:Monigue says: we have to get drunk ... immediately.
,Tyler shock.,Monique shock.
the next morning...
:Monigue says: woo *urg* hoo. go to the bank and check our balance.
:Tyler says from offstage: away!
,Tyler none.,Monique headinhands.
:Tyler says: huzzah! i have returned, with a wise investment. behold!
magic beans!
:Monigue says: sweet jesus no! tell me you didn’t spend all our money on beans.
:Tyler says: what price can you put on magic beans, monique? they got the house as well.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique angry.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' In sickness and in health. '
written by
:Tyler says: the birds are singing, the sun is shining, it’s another wonderful day.
:Monigue says: are we on the ’happy’ suppositories today?
:Tyler says: getting there is half the fun.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique headinhands.
:Tyler says: you don’t look too good. would you like me to drive you to work?
:Monigue says: actually yes, that would be nice, thanks. i haven’t been feeling too good since some ’actress’ bit me yesterday after i told her she was a "no-talent slut." i’ll just get my things.
,Tyler query.,Monique headinhands.
:Monigue says from offstage: braiiiiiiiiiinssss!
:Tyler says from offstage: you get the fuck away from me!
,Tyler none.,Monique none.
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