did you know that the ’cold’ headache that you get when you suck too hard on a slurpee is the same as why people get a pain in their left arm when there’s a problem with their heart? the brain confuses the signals.
does this explain why i get the creeping horrors when you kiss me?
no. that’s because i hate you.
i just want you to know that i felt sooo sexually satisfied last night.
but i came home late from,...
fuck you, my darling!
are you still attracted to me?
when i was little, i lived in a house that had a chimney.
one christmas, i’m pretty sure i heard the chimney say ’no’.
i was thinking of getting a pet.
don’t you like animals?
i married you, didn’t i.
..chickens in choppers, heh-heh. *sniff* *sniff* did you just fart?
women don’t fart
mi dispiace signora, did you just break wind?
then what is that god awful smell?
probably the prawns i sewed into your jacket
the fire of you heart burns cold for my loins
yes, my dog’s satay is nubian
when your yoghurt nose twists unfairly, simon melts their face
freakishly, bovines know the origin of your honour