it’s my cousin’s birthday next week but she’s got the "travel bug" and i don’t know where she’ll be to send her a present.
send it by owl.
i noticed you didn’t eat the lovely mushrooms i cooked into the dinner last night.
you know i don’t like them. eating mushrooms is like eating something that’s dead.
ah hermione, you sexy little know-it-all. if only you were real...
hey tyler, are you up to the bit where hermione dies yet?
nooo!! my life, it flashes before my eyes!
mmmm, reading each new ’harry potter’ book is like putting on a favoured old coat or perhaps a brand new pair of woollen socks. they feel so warm and snuggly, very easy to slip into.
although, the same could be said of a two dollar whore.
but we won’t.
what are you watching?
’monk,’ yet another dopey american detective show.
does he spell his name with a silent ’e’ and ’y’?
ooo, ooo, ooo!
ok, i’ll bite. what’s got you so steamed?
the patent office rejected another of my applications! it was the best one yet!
how could they reject a "vaginal sneakoscope"?!
i want you to be on your best behaviour at this dinner party tonight.
of course. you can trust me.
later that night.
i can’t believe you!! i can’t take you anywhere!!
what the hell is your problem? all i did was say that i liked her hat.
she is a siamese twin.
oh,.. that would explain why it was so life like,...
,..and foul mouthed.