 you know, everyone remembers that van gogh cut off his own ear, but it’s not like that was a big thing?what?well, he was a painter. if he wanted to make a big impact he could have gouged out one of his eyes. wouldn’t that have been a romantic gesture?  | i always thought that it was romantic when you sent me an ear in the post.  | that is, until i realised it wasn’t yours. |
 ...yeah, good one mate. listen, i’ve got to go. there’s a shapely young thing waiting for me in the sack, if you know what i mean, heh heh.  | that’s right! she’s even got her name tattooed on her side, totally wild man. monique? nah, absolutely clueless. i’ll talk to you later, i’ve got to relieve someone of their ability to walk. oh, yeah! | oh, hey monique. no, you’ve got it all wrong. c’mon, put the bat down. look, it’s just... smash dear lord noooo!my beer! you killed my beer! why?!  |
deftly, he sidesteps the poorly worded and yea, mispelt slur against his prowess in the boudoir. | zing! tyler masterfully ripostes with his rapier like wit. the ice maiden grovels before him in obeisance. | did you say something dear?um, moo? |
phew! i’ve finally managed to net off the paw-paw trees in the back yard. no more bat problems. | tyler? have you seen my fish-nets? | whoa! that was quick. |
ok, we’ll try it again. what do you get if you multiply six by nine? | forty-two. | that’s just dumb.heathen. |
it’s my cousin’s birthday next week but she’s got the "travel bug" and i don’t know where she’ll be to send her a present. | send it by owl. | geek. |
i noticed you didn’t eat the lovely mushrooms i cooked into the dinner last night. | you know i don’t like them. eating mushrooms is like eating something that’s dead. | |