F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Pinky '
written by
:Monigue says from offstage: ow! fuck!!
:Tyler says: problem?
,Tyler news.,Monique none.
:Monigue says: i just slammed my pinky in the door.
:Tyler says: what? what?? oh god! no! no, please god!!
:Tyler says: oh jesus no!! augh!! aagh!! god no!!!
,Tyler shock.,Monique angry.
:Monigue says: finger,. my pinky finger.
:Tyler says: oh? oh? oh, okay. it’s just that,. er,.. it explained some stuff.
:Monigue says: you’re such a fucking retard.
,Tyler guilty.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Yesterday however... '
written by
:Tyler says: ha! makes sense i guess.
,Tyler news.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: when i was a kid and didn’t particularly feel like doing something my parents asked me to do, i’d say, "i’ll do it tomorrow." to which they would reply, "ah, but ’tomorrow’ never comes."
:Monigue says: this helped you to make sense of what exactly?
,Tyler talk.,Monique coffee.
:Tyler says: i’ve been wondering for years now, why there are no porn stars named ’tomorrow,’ bad for business i suppose.
:Monigue says: i don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Pretty Stumpybear '
written by
:Monigue says: i’m missing a pair of panties. i don’t suppose you know where they might be found?
:Tyler says: they may very well be caressing my derriƩre with their lacy softness as we speak.
,Tyler news.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: ok, a. that is truly nasty, you disgusting little freak.
b. i don’t want them back and
c. why?
:Tyler says: it was a matter of practicality monique. all my jocks are in the wash.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: i only saw one pair in the hamper.
:Tyler says: yes you did.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Neo Stumpybear '
written by
television blares! enter the matrix. in the war to save zion, what part will you play?
,Tyler query.,Monique coffee.
:Tyler says: the part where i don’t die and get to have sex with all the chicks.
,Tyler talk.,Monique silent.
:Tyler says: except for the fuglies of course.
:Monigue says: of course, neo greaseboy.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Wormhole '
written by
:Tyler says: you remember my quantum physicist friend alex? well i borrowed one of his devices.
:Monigue says: borrowed?
:Tyler says: stole! anyway, apparently it can send an individual to an alternate reality.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: oops.
,Tyler guilty.,Monique none.
meanwhile, 0.328 universes away
:Monigue says: where the fuck am i?
,Tyler none.,Monique shock.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Parallel Tyler '
written by
:Tyler says: monique, my love, it’s me, parallel tyler.
:Monigue says: wait, you know you’re from a parallel universe?
:Tyler says: what? no? that’s my name, parallel tyler. what’s wrong dear? you seem disoriented.
,Tyler query.,Monique query.
:Monigue says: i think i’m in the wrong place.
:Tyler says: here, sweetie, take my credit card. i just put some more cash on it. go buy yourself something to cheer you up.
:Monigue says: i,... wrong,... place,.. i,..
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique shock.
:Tyler says: do you want to take the corvette or the rx7?
:Monigue says from offstage: i love you honey!
,Tyler query.,Monique none.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Parallel Tyler 2 '
written by
universe 0.328
:Tyler says: are you happier now you’ve spent some money and had a drive?
:Monigue says: very, i’m so glad that i’m where i should be, parallel tyler.
,Tyler query.,Monique slygrin.
:Tyler says: and can i just say that you’ve been so pleasant in the last couple of days, like you really appreciate me.
:Monigue says: like i know how bad the alternative is maybe.
:Tyler says: we’re both so lucky.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique slygrin.
meanwhile in our universe,..

(sans pants)
:Tyler says: *sob*
so,.. very,.. happy!!
,Tyler headinhands.,Monique none.
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