i just slammed my pinky in the door.
what? what?? oh god! no! no, please god!!
oh jesus no!! augh!! aagh!! god no!!!
finger,. my pinky finger.
oh? oh? oh, okay. it’s just that,. er,.. it explained some stuff.
you’re such a fucking retard.
ha! makes sense i guess.
when i was a kid and didn’t particularly feel like doing something my parents asked me to do, i’d say, "i’ll do it tomorrow." to which they would reply, "ah, but ’tomorrow’ never comes."
this helped you to make sense of what exactly?
i’ve been wondering for years now, why there are no porn stars named ’tomorrow,’ bad for business i suppose.
i don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
i’m missing a pair of panties. i don’t suppose you know where they might be found?
they may very well be caressing my derriére with their lacy softness as we speak.
ok, a. that is truly nasty, you disgusting little freak.
b. i don’t want them back and
it was a matter of practicality monique. all my jocks are in the wash.
i only saw one pair in the hamper.
yes you did.
enter the matrix. in the war to save zion, what part will you play?
the part where i don’t die and get to have sex with all the chicks.
except for the fuglies of course.
of course, neo greaseboy.
you remember my quantum physicist friend alex? well i borrowed one of his devices.
stole! anyway, apparently it can send an individual to an alternate reality.
meanwhile, 0.328 universes away
where the fuck am i?
monique, my love, it’s me, parallel tyler.
wait, you know you’re from a parallel universe?
what? no? that’s my name, parallel tyler. what’s wrong dear? you seem disoriented.
i think i’m in the wrong place.
here, sweetie, take my credit card. i just put some more cash on it. go buy yourself something to cheer you up.
i,... wrong,... place,.. i,..
do you want to take the corvette or the rx7?
i love you honey!
are you happier now you’ve spent some money and had a drive?
very, i’m so glad that i’m where i should be, parallel tyler.
and can i just say that you’ve been so pleasant in the last couple of days, like you really appreciate me.
like i know how bad the alternative is maybe.
we’re both so lucky.
meanwhile in our universe,..
so,.. very,.. happy!!