 i’m not looking forward to work today. i’ve been getting the accounts ready for the end of the financial year but the computer is so damn slow, if i need to refer to a different spreadsheet, it takes me ages to get it up.really? please excuse me.  | ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!   | finished?for the moment. hoo, i think i’ve ruptured something. |
they were such a bargain. marked down from $350$350 for a pair of women’s jeans? | if i paid $350 for a pair of woman’s jeans i’d expect a pair of legs and a pelvis to still be inside them. | and you wonder why i’ve put a lock on my bedroom door.a lock on your,... hmm, that gives me an idea   |
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ok, your turn.i don’t think so. | while gargling hot man custard might not have been my first choice of activities at breakfast this morning, the promise of reciprocation was somewhat alluring. i realise that you’re male but why would you renege now? | well, to be honest, you don’t have the balls. |
| fine, i was only kidding.damn straight. |  | ahhhhh! utha hucker! an ouse tap?! how da..? you hucking biths! oh yeah, that’s it baby. |
bang! ow! fuck!!problem? | i just slammed my pinky in the door.what? what?? oh god! no! no, please god!!oh jesus no!! augh!! aagh!! god no!!! | finger,. my pinky finger.oh? oh? oh, okay. it’s just that,. er,.. it explained some stuff.you’re such a fucking retard. |
| ha! makes sense i guess. | when i was a kid and didn’t particularly feel like doing something my parents asked me to do, i’d say, "i’ll do it tomorrow." to which they would reply, "ah, but ’tomorrow’ never comes."this helped you to make sense of what exactly? | i’ve been wondering for years now, why there are no porn stars named ’tomorrow,’ bad for business i suppose.i don’t know whether to laugh or cry. |