 why do we say ’as happy as a clam’?because they’re always smiling  |  | because they’re not married to you.you couldn’t let it go, could you? |
| why do we say ’as happy as a clam’?because they’re always smiling | | because they’re not married to you.you couldn’t let it go, could you? |
where has the romance in our relationship gone?let me think. |   | well?it’s not on page seven. let me check page eight. |
| do you know what happened to my crystal decanter?do you recall that fight we had? | which one?the one where i got hit in the head with a crystal decanter | ah,..  |
| what would you do if i had an affair?i’d build snowmen with joseph stalin. | that makes no sense!it makes perfect sense. i’d have to be dead... | ...and for someone else to sleep with you, hell would be under six feet of snow. |
| this coffee is awful. taste this.no thank you. | who made it? me.what did you use for a filter? a dirty sock?  | your dirty sock, actually. maybe now you will remember to pick up filters after work.at least it wasn’t your sock.that was yesterday’s pot. |
| my dog has no nose....you don’t have a dog. | ok then, your dog has no nose. | |
| beware the fetid donkey cheese! it consumes with a hitherto unknown passion for the art of kanly. | beware the wife with the hitherto unknown passion for dropping acid in her husband’s morning coffee. | mmmmm....snozberry. |