Fuck
You
My
Darling
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Karma '
written by
Dan
:Monigue says: do you believe in karma?
,Tyler news.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: the mythical force that balances out all bad deeds with cosmic punishment? lord no!!
,Tyler query.,Monique silent.
:Tyler says: i can’t remember ever doing anything bad enough to warrant this marriage.
,Tyler news.,Monique angry.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Magnets '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: this frickin’ holistic medicine crap. i can’t believe it’s still legal to advertise things like a ’magnetic cure’.
:Monigue says: you’re a non-believer then?
:Tyler says: there’s no rational reason anyone should feel better after ’magnet therapy’.
,Tyler news.,Monique talk.
that evening,..
:Tyler says from offstage: hard drive failure? hard drive failure??
,Tyler none.,Monique news.
:Tyler says from offstage: my screenplay!!
:Monigue says: mmmm, i do feel better.
,Tyler none.,Monique slygrin.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Tyler, The Half Cut Prince. '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says: so, what was in the big box the postie dropped off?
:Tyler says: i ordered the hard cover, "adult" edition of the harry potter books.
:Monigue says: ok, fan boy. let’s just skip the part where you explain why you need the "adult" versions when you already have the original, brightly coloured ones and instead, you can tell me what the difference is between the two.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: it’s really very simple, dear. the "adult" version contains all the really good stuff they couldn’t print in the children’s version. such as the special love hermione has for hagrid, what dumbledore really likes to do with his phoenix and what actually happened in the chamber of secrets between harry, ginny and the "giant serpent."
,Tyler talk.,Monique silent.
:Monigue says: you couldn’t lie straight in a coffin could you?
:Tyler says: do you know what the original title for book one was?
"harry potter and the philosopher’s bone"
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Furries '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: i notice that you have ’furries pages’ bookmarked on the computer.
:Monigue says: that’s,.. umm,.. research.
:Tyler says: huh! fun project. i just don’t understand it myself.
,Tyler talk.,Monique guilty.
:Monigue says: some people find it easier to trust friendly images from their childhood than human beings,.. like you.
:Tyler says: fair enough,..
,Tyler coffee.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ’finger puppets’, though.
:Monigue says: ick!
:Tyler says: ,..also the phrase ’getting felt up’.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique shock.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Pelé Would '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: i’m not looking forward to work today. i’ve been getting the accounts ready for the end of the financial year but the computer is so damn slow, if i need to refer to a different spreadsheet, it takes me ages to get it up.
:Monigue says: really? please excuse me.
,Tyler talk.,Monique query.
:Monigue says from offstage: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
,Tyler silent.,Monique none.
:Tyler says: finished?
:Monigue says: for the moment. hoo, i think i’ve ruptured something.
,Tyler talk.,Monique slygrin.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' New Jeans '
written by
Dan
:Monigue says: they were such a bargain. marked down from $350
:Tyler says: $350 for a pair of women’s jeans?
,Tyler shock.,Monique slygrin.
:Tyler says: if i paid $350 for a pair of woman’s jeans i’d expect a pair of legs and a pelvis to still be inside them.
,Tyler talk.,Monique shock.
:Monigue says: and you wonder why i’ve put a lock on my bedroom door.
:Tyler says: a lock on your,...
hmm, that gives me an idea
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' The Nodding Budgie '
written by
Goatlord
,Tyler news.,Monique shock.,Tyler news.,Monique none.,Tyler slygrin.,Monique none.
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