F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Slip Slidin’ Away '

written by

Goatlord

i was looking for some old photo’s of mine in the garage this morning and i came across a box of your old uni stuff. does "analien: in space no one can hear you ream!" mean anything to you?

why whatever do you mean?

i mean, why do you have a vhs tape of hard core, gay porn amongst your old uni things?

it was a gift from friends, i’ve never actually watched it.

i’m not worried about your sexuality tyler. it’s just that when i saw the title and the signatures of all the cast and the personal message, "to our bestest grease boy ever." i thought to myself, what the hell is a grease boy?

it’s not something i’m ashamed of. while you were sucking off, ah...up to, all those directors to let you work on their films, i was able to pay my university fees upfront. it may not have paid as much as a fluffer but i was working an honest job for honest...

...hard core, gay porn. you haven’t answered my question senator.

no i haven’t, have i.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Hitting Girls '

written by

Dan

why is it that you get to hit me but i don’t get to hit you?

because i’m a girl.

so,..

remember lorena bobbitt?

take it. it’s not like i enjoy using my penis any more.

and you already sit down to pee.

bite me.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Angry feminists '

written by

Jeremy

so, what are you reading about?

angry feminists.

wait, feminists are angry? what do they have to be angry about?

female circumcision for one.

i don’t see how anyone with easy access to a pair of breasts can ever be angry.

you’re not helping.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Yo Yo Yo '

written by

Jeremy

i will be purchasing some bling bling after work today.

do you even know what "bling bling" is?

sure i do.

a fiddy cent ringtone for my cell phone?

you go now.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Welcome to Earth '

written by

Goatlord

i had to go into town to, do something, i think. the place is just crawling with... are they the new normal?

relax, there’s going to be a pop culture expo on over the weekend. some people like to express themselves with costume.

my eyes....

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Stay Awhile '

written by

Goatlord

you can stop with the cookie monster impressions, it can’t have been that bad.

are you kidding?! the overstretched spandex, the bad wigs, the disfiguring acne.

the well rounded tights, the thigh hugging boots, oh yeah, the...

...deep impression of my forehead in the table, ow!

actually, that worked. thanks, i think.

anytime.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Stay for a Little Bit '

written by

Goatlord

you realise that you’re one of the biggest fanboys i know.

i am nothing like those people.

you picked a napkin out of the bin because you thought sarah michelle gellar may have used it. fanboy.

am not.

as stunning as this repartee is, you’d probably like it at the expo. there will be lots of buffy merchandise to paw through and i’m pretty sure i heard that joss whedon’s signature will be making a special appearance.

peace at last. if he comes back with any of those evangelion dollies however...