Fuck
You
My
Darling
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' It’s not um.... '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: dear lord! that fancy new coffee you bought is awful!
:Monigue says: don’t blame me, you made it this mor....dear lord!
,Tyler coffee.,Monique coffee.
:Monigue says: wait a minute, fancy new coffee from a pretty ’urn’ shaped container?
:Tyler says: that’s the one. perhaps we could give the rest to one of your relatives we don’t like.
,Tyler talk.,Monique query.
:Monigue says: one of my relatives!? that’s rich, you stupid bastard! we’re drinking grandma!
,Tyler shock.,Monique angry.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Will you love me? '
written by
Dan
the traditional setup
:Monigue says: will you love me when i’m old and wrinkled?
,Tyler news.,Monique query.
the traditional punchline
:Tyler says: of course i do dear.
,Tyler news.,Monique silent.
tyler’s actual answer
:Tyler says: don’t be retarded you slack mole.
,Tyler news.,Monique angry.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' We Love You Britney! '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: so, how was that jazz cd my cousin gave you?
:Monigue says: i say hello to him once at one of your godawful family gettogethers and he thinks i’m his ticket to stardom.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: a regular band will usually play music with instruments. whatever the hell your cousin was doing would be best adopted as an "interrogation" method at guantanamo bay.
:Tyler says: not as good as he says he is, huh?
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: hardly. i thought i was listening to a horn and elephant scrotum orgy. naturally, my producer friends loved it.
:Tyler says: naturally.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Odd Charges '
written by
Jeremy
:Monigue says: darling, i was looking over the credit card bills, and i found an unusual charge.
:Tyler says: it wasn’t a hooker!
,Tyler shock.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: i didn’t say it was...
:Tyler says: oh. good! nevermind then.
:Monigue says: you hired a hooker?
,Tyler query.,Monique angry.
:Tyler says: nah. it’s just porn.
:Monigue says: so we still have to have sex?
:Tyler says: afraid so.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Dusting '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: this place is so dusty.
:Monigue says: then maybe you should do some dusting.
:Tyler says: i’m not doing dusting. that’s a chick’s job.
,Tyler query.,Monique news.
:Monigue says from offstage: a chick’s job?
:Tyler says: yeah. hey, where are you going?
:Monigue says from offstage: to get a broom.
,Tyler talk.,Monique none.
:Tyler says: oh, good.
:Monigue says from offstage: you better start running.
:Tyler says: ah, fuck
,Tyler guilty.,Monique none.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Birds '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: great tits!
:Monigue says: what?
,Tyler news.,Monique shock.
:Tyler says: i’m reading an article about birdlife.
:Monigue says: oh.
,Tyler talk.,Monique guilty.
:Tyler says: nice boobies!
:Monigue says: cock!
,Tyler news.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Quentin Goldman '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: i’ve been thinking about terri schiavo.
:Monigue says: she’s dead now tyler. just leave her be.
:Tyler says: i was just wondering if the orderlies needed to use vaseline on her like they did uma in ’kill bill.’
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
,Tyler silent.,Monique silent.
:Monigue says: i would not say such things if i were you.
:Tyler says: why not? you can’t hurt me. westley and i are joined by the bonds of love.
:Monigue says: what were we talking about?
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
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