Fuck
You
My
Darling
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Sweet 2 '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: pray i delight in rekindling our tryst. let me pamper you like the angel that you are.
:Monigue says: you
:Monigue says: are
,Tyler query.,Monique shock.
:Monigue says: freaking
:Monigue says: me
:Monigue says: out!!
,Tyler silent.,Monique shock.
:Tyler says: i know. that’s the point.
:Tyler says: you know nothing pile of tapir waste.
:Monigue says: phew
,Tyler news.,Monique headinhands.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Show us your Pink Panther '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says from offstage: aiiiiiieeeeeee!
,Tyler query.,Monique none.
:Monigue says from offstage: my god! they’re everywhere! when was the last time you were in here?!
:Tyler says: oh, it’s been at least a week, i guess. why?
,Tyler talk.,Monique none.
:Monigue says from offstage: ants! a disgustingly large, infestation of ants!
:Tyler says: i hear you can get a topical cream for that these days.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique none.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Fill Up My Senses '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: a large porn conglomerate in europe has snaffled up a medical cable channel in the us. they plan to introduce a programme dedicated to the therapeutic benefits of "fisting."
,Tyler news.,Monique coffee.
:Monigue says: *cough* *splutter* the therapeutic benefits of...how the hell do they think they’re going to do that?!
,Tyler news.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: one inch at a time. one inch, at a time.
,Tyler talk.,Monique silent.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' It’s not um.... '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: dear lord! that fancy new coffee you bought is awful!
:Monigue says: don’t blame me, you made it this mor....dear lord!
,Tyler coffee.,Monique coffee.
:Monigue says: wait a minute, fancy new coffee from a pretty ’urn’ shaped container?
:Tyler says: that’s the one. perhaps we could give the rest to one of your relatives we don’t like.
,Tyler talk.,Monique query.
:Monigue says: one of my relatives!? that’s rich, you stupid bastard! we’re drinking grandma!
,Tyler shock.,Monique angry.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Will you love me? '
written by
Dan
the traditional setup
:Monigue says: will you love me when i’m old and wrinkled?
,Tyler news.,Monique query.
the traditional punchline
:Tyler says: of course i do dear.
,Tyler news.,Monique silent.
tyler’s actual answer
:Tyler says: don’t be retarded you slack mole.
,Tyler news.,Monique angry.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' We Love You Britney! '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: so, how was that jazz cd my cousin gave you?
:Monigue says: i say hello to him once at one of your godawful family gettogethers and he thinks i’m his ticket to stardom.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: a regular band will usually play music with instruments. whatever the hell your cousin was doing would be best adopted as an "interrogation" method at guantanamo bay.
:Tyler says: not as good as he says he is, huh?
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: hardly. i thought i was listening to a horn and elephant scrotum orgy. naturally, my producer friends loved it.
:Tyler says: naturally.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Odd Charges '
written by
Jeremy
:Monigue says: darling, i was looking over the credit card bills, and i found an unusual charge.
:Tyler says: it wasn’t a hooker!
,Tyler shock.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: i didn’t say it was...
:Tyler says: oh. good! nevermind then.
:Monigue says: you hired a hooker?
,Tyler query.,Monique angry.
:Tyler says: nah. it’s just porn.
:Monigue says: so we still have to have sex?
:Tyler says: afraid so.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
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