a dog flew passed my window today. a dog flew passed your window? yes, i was amazed, the physical effects department have never gotten one higher than the eighth floor on a first attempt before. | hmmm, weighing the pros and cons of the situation, ah stuff it. just what the purple, monkey, dishwasher are you talking about? it’s all for the latest high profile movie, "my nose smells like a geranium mummy." the year is 7429, geranium mummies have taken control of the earth, their one weakness, high speed canine. it’s a story about a handfull of courageous mutant bovine/donkey/men, their trusty catapults and an overwhelming supply of dogs for ammunition. brad pitt is going to voice for the dogs. | y’know, i’d actually pay to see that. you and a billion other morons. god, i love this business. |
"babies are the nicest way of all to start making people." apparently. so, my mother still wants to know when we are having kids. she wants mutant grandspawn?! it’s too late anyway, i had the operation done. | what? when was this? why didn’t you consult me or perhaps my mother, about it? can you at least sit down when i’m talking at...are you skipping? | i only said i had the operation done, i didn’t specify to whom said operation was performed on. remember that time you woke up in a bathtub full of ice? those had better not be my fallopian tubes you’re jumping rope with! i’m a little duch girl dressed in blue. these are the things i like to do... |
ah, harken to thee my muse. my beloved. fragrant blossom unto whom the earth itself does turn. i must away, but i shall return and lavish thee with delights. |
pray i delight in rekindling our tryst. let me pamper you like the angel that you are. you are | freaking me out!! | i know. that’s the point. you know nothing pile of tapir waste. phew |
aiiiiiieeeeeee! | my god! they’re everywhere! when was the last time you were in here?! oh, it’s been at least a week, i guess. why? | ants! a disgustingly large, infestation of ants! i hear you can get a topical cream for that these days. |
a large porn conglomerate in europe has snaffled up a medical cable channel in the us. they plan to introduce a programme dedicated to the therapeutic benefits of "fisting." | *cough* *splutter* the therapeutic benefits of...how the hell do they think they’re going to do that?! | one inch at a time. one inch, at a time. |
dear lord! that fancy new coffee you bought is awful! don’t blame me, you made it this mor....dear lord! | wait a minute, fancy new coffee from a pretty ’urn’ shaped container? that’s the one. perhaps we could give the rest to one of your relatives we don’t like. | one of my relatives!? that’s rich, you stupid bastard! we’re drinking grandma! |