Fuck
You
My
Darling
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Born to be Kings '
written by
Goatlord
television blares! american idol. there can be only one. who will it be?
,Tyler news.,Monique news.
:Tyler says: the one with the sharpest sword, perhaps?
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique news.
television blares! charlie’s angels. there can be only three.
:Monigue says: no, tyler.
:Tyler says: oh c’mon! they’re gagging for it.
,Tyler query.,Monique news.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' The Other, Other White Meat '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says: we’re having people for dinner next saturday so don’t make any last minute plans.
:Tyler says: again?
,Tyler query.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: we only do this every few weeks and it’s not like we go out of our way to do things as a couple.
:Tyler says: there’s the hamster thing.
:Monigue says: yes, there is the hamster thing.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: can we at least stay away from the jones family. i’ve had mrs jones stuck in my teeth all week and an irritable bowel. i’m sure she was a vegan, the bitch.
:Monigue says: ok then, how about the pavarottis? they’ve just emigrated from italy.
:Tyler says: hmmm...it has been a while since we’ve had some good italian.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Olympics '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: i like to think of myself as a love maker of olympic standard.
:Monigue says: what? like a relay runner?
:Tyler says: huh?
,Tyler query.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: well, the bit where you perform is when you grab your shaft,..
:Monigue says: ..and only one person finishes, yes, i’d agree with that.
:Tyler says: although i think of you more like the luge.
,Tyler talk.,Monique slygrin.
:Monigue says: the luge athletes?
:Tyler says: actually i meant the course.
:Tyler says: slut
,Tyler news.,Monique query.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' I Feel Happeee! '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says: a dog flew passed my window today.
:Tyler says: a dog flew passed your window?
:Monigue says: yes, i was amazed, the physical effects department have never gotten one higher than the eighth floor on a first attempt before.
,Tyler query.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: hmmm, weighing the pros and cons of the situation, ah stuff it. just what the purple, monkey, dishwasher are you talking about?
:Monigue says: it’s all for the latest high profile movie, "my nose smells like a geranium mummy."
:Monigue says: the year is 7429, geranium mummies have taken control of the earth, their one weakness, high speed canine. it’s a story about a handfull of courageous mutant bovine/donkey/men, their trusty catapults and an overwhelming supply of dogs for ammunition. brad pitt is going to voice for the dogs.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: y’know, i’d actually pay to see that.
:Monigue says: you and a billion other morons. god, i love this business.
,Tyler talk.,Monique slygrin.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Werd to the Stumpy Bear '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says: "babies are the nicest way of all to start making people." apparently. so, my mother still wants to know when we are having kids.
:Tyler says: she wants mutant grandspawn?! it’s too late anyway, i had the operation done.
,Tyler query.,Monique news.
:Monigue says: what? when was this? why didn’t you consult me or perhaps my mother, about it? can you at least sit down when i’m talking at...are you skipping?
,Tyler none.,Monique query.
:Tyler says from offstage: i only said i had the operation done, i didn’t specify to whom said operation was performed on. remember that time you woke up in a bathtub full of ice?
:Monigue says: those had better not be my fallopian tubes you’re jumping rope with!
:Tyler says from offstage: i’m a little duch girl dressed in blue. these are the things i like to do...
,Tyler none.,Monique angry.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Sweet '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: ah, harken to thee my muse. my beloved. fragrant blossom unto whom the earth itself does turn. i must away, but i shall return and lavish thee with delights.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique shock.
,Tyler none.,Monique shock.,Tyler none.,Monique shock.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Sweet 2 '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: pray i delight in rekindling our tryst. let me pamper you like the angel that you are.
:Monigue says: you
:Monigue says: are
,Tyler query.,Monique shock.
:Monigue says: freaking
:Monigue says: me
:Monigue says: out!!
,Tyler silent.,Monique shock.
:Tyler says: i know. that’s the point.
:Tyler says: you know nothing pile of tapir waste.
:Monigue says: phew
,Tyler news.,Monique headinhands.
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