american idol. there can be only one. who will it be? | the one with the sharpest sword, perhaps? | charlie’s angels. there can be only three. no, tyler. oh c’mon! they’re gagging for it. |
we’re having people for dinner next saturday so don’t make any last minute plans. again? | we only do this every few weeks and it’s not like we go out of our way to do things as a couple. there’s the hamster thing. yes, there is the hamster thing. | can we at least stay away from the jones family. i’ve had mrs jones stuck in my teeth all week and an irritable bowel. i’m sure she was a vegan, the bitch. ok then, how about the pavarottis? they’ve just emigrated from italy. hmmm...it has been a while since we’ve had some good italian. |
i like to think of myself as a love maker of olympic standard. what? like a relay runner? huh? | well, the bit where you perform is when you grab your shaft,.. ..and only one person finishes, yes, i’d agree with that. although i think of you more like the luge. | the luge athletes? actually i meant the course. slut |
a dog flew passed my window today. a dog flew passed your window? yes, i was amazed, the physical effects department have never gotten one higher than the eighth floor on a first attempt before. | hmmm, weighing the pros and cons of the situation, ah stuff it. just what the purple, monkey, dishwasher are you talking about? it’s all for the latest high profile movie, "my nose smells like a geranium mummy." the year is 7429, geranium mummies have taken control of the earth, their one weakness, high speed canine. it’s a story about a handfull of courageous mutant bovine/donkey/men, their trusty catapults and an overwhelming supply of dogs for ammunition. brad pitt is going to voice for the dogs. | y’know, i’d actually pay to see that. you and a billion other morons. god, i love this business. |
"babies are the nicest way of all to start making people." apparently. so, my mother still wants to know when we are having kids. she wants mutant grandspawn?! it’s too late anyway, i had the operation done. | what? when was this? why didn’t you consult me or perhaps my mother, about it? can you at least sit down when i’m talking at...are you skipping? | i only said i had the operation done, i didn’t specify to whom said operation was performed on. remember that time you woke up in a bathtub full of ice? those had better not be my fallopian tubes you’re jumping rope with! i’m a little duch girl dressed in blue. these are the things i like to do... |
ah, harken to thee my muse. my beloved. fragrant blossom unto whom the earth itself does turn. i must away, but i shall return and lavish thee with delights. |
pray i delight in rekindling our tryst. let me pamper you like the angel that you are. you are | freaking me out!! | i know. that’s the point. you know nothing pile of tapir waste. phew |