what happened to the tivo, darling?
i reset it, and recorded hours and hours of will & grace, and it still suggests home improvement and mechanic shows. so i tossed it.
i read that tivo can prove you’re gay.
no such luck for you, butch.
curse my heterosexuality.
you filthy, rag whore, dog fucking slut!
eat shit you dirty, ring raiding, nugget punching, mouldy arsed, elephant groping, necrophiliac!
sheep herding, felafel rapist!
holy shit! are you as turned on as i am? last one upstairs felches first.
hey no fair!
so...you wanted to be gay?
but, you like girls.
relative to what?
american idol. there can be only one. who will it be?
the one with the sharpest sword, perhaps?
charlie’s angels. there can be only three.
oh c’mon! they’re gagging for it.
we’re having people for dinner next saturday so don’t make any last minute plans.
we only do this every few weeks and it’s not like we go out of our way to do things as a couple.
there’s the hamster thing.
yes, there is the hamster thing.
can we at least stay away from the jones family. i’ve had mrs jones stuck in my teeth all week and an irritable bowel. i’m sure she was a vegan, the bitch.
ok then, how about the pavarottis? they’ve just emigrated from italy.
hmmm...it has been a while since we’ve had some good italian.
i like to think of myself as a love maker of olympic standard.
what? like a relay runner?
well, the bit where you perform is when you grab your shaft,..
..and only one person finishes, yes, i’d agree with that.
although i think of you more like the luge.
the luge athletes?
actually i meant the course.
a dog flew passed my window today.
a dog flew passed your window?
yes, i was amazed, the physical effects department have never gotten one higher than the eighth floor on a first attempt before.
hmmm, weighing the pros and cons of the situation, ah stuff it. just what the purple, monkey, dishwasher are you talking about?
it’s all for the latest high profile movie, "my nose smells like a geranium mummy."
the year is 7429, geranium mummies have taken control of the earth, their one weakness, high speed canine. it’s a story about a handfull of courageous mutant bovine/donkey/men, their trusty catapults and an overwhelming supply of dogs for ammunition. brad pitt is going to voice for the dogs.
y’know, i’d actually pay to see that.
you and a billion other morons. god, i love this business.