F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Saving Ryan’s Privates '

written by

Jeremy

care to explain why the tivo is full of pay-per-view porn set in world war two?

i could take a guess...

last week, you recorded saving private ryan.

and you recorded showgirls. twice.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Tivo is Faaabulous '

written by

Jeremy

what happened to the tivo, darling?

i reset it, and recorded hours and hours of will & grace, and it still suggests home improvement and mechanic shows. so i tossed it.

um, why?

i read that tivo can prove you’re gay.

no such luck for you, butch.

curse my heterosexuality.

indeed.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Go Forth and Multiply! '

written by

Goatlord

you filthy, rag whore, dog fucking slut!

eat shit you dirty, ring raiding, nugget punching, mouldy arsed, elephant groping, necrophiliac!

sheep herding, felafel rapist!

holy shit! are you as turned on as i am? last one upstairs felches first.

hey no fair!

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' I Like Traffic Lights '

written by

Goatlord

so...you wanted to be gay?

maybe.

but, you like girls.

relative to what?

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Born to be Kings '

written by

Goatlord

american idol. there can be only one. who will it be?

the one with the sharpest sword, perhaps?

charlie’s angels. there can be only three.

no, tyler.

oh c’mon! they’re gagging for it.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' The Other, Other White Meat '

written by

Goatlord

we’re having people for dinner next saturday so don’t make any last minute plans.

again?

we only do this every few weeks and it’s not like we go out of our way to do things as a couple.

there’s the hamster thing.

yes, there is the hamster thing.

can we at least stay away from the jones family. i’ve had mrs jones stuck in my teeth all week and an irritable bowel. i’m sure she was a vegan, the bitch.

ok then, how about the pavarottis? they’ve just emigrated from italy.

hmmm...it has been a while since we’ve had some good italian.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Olympics '

written by

Dan

i like to think of myself as a love maker of olympic standard.

what? like a relay runner?

huh?

well, the bit where you perform is when you grab your shaft,..

..and only one person finishes, yes, i’d agree with that.

although i think of you more like the luge.

the luge athletes?

actually i meant the course.

slut