Fuck
You
My
Darling
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Tivo '
written by
Jeremy
:Tyler says: we need tivo.
:Monigue says: why?
,Tyler news.,Monique news.
:Tyler says: it makes suggestions for shows based on what you like. tivo figures out what kind of person you are.
:Monigue says: we already know what kind of "person" you are.
,Tyler talk.,Monique news.
:Tyler says: i was hoping it could tell us what manner of demonspawn you are, o’ watcher of reality shows.
:Monigue says: one with good taste, o’ watcher of pro wrestling.
,Tyler talk.,Monique news.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Saving Ryan’s Privates '
written by
Jeremy
:Monigue says: care to explain why the tivo is full of pay-per-view porn set in world war two?
:Tyler says: i could take a guess...
,Tyler coffee.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: last week, you recorded saving private ryan.
:Monigue says: and you recorded showgirls. twice.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
,Tyler news.,Monique coffee.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Tivo is Faaabulous '
written by
Jeremy
:Monigue says: what happened to the tivo, darling?
:Tyler says: i reset it, and recorded hours and hours of will & grace, and it still suggests home improvement and mechanic shows. so i tossed it.
,Tyler talk.,Monique query.
:Monigue says: um, why?
:Tyler says: i read that tivo can prove you’re gay.
,Tyler talk.,Monique shock.
:Monigue says: no such luck for you, butch.
:Tyler says: curse my heterosexuality.
:Monigue says: indeed.
,Tyler headinhands.,Monique coffee.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Go Forth and Multiply! '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: you filthy, rag whore, dog fucking slut!
:Monigue says: eat shit you dirty, ring raiding, nugget punching, mouldy arsed, elephant groping, necrophiliac!
,Tyler angry.,Monique angry.
:Tyler says: sheep herding, felafel rapist!
:Monigue says: holy shit! are you as turned on as i am? last one upstairs felches first.
,Tyler angry.,Monique shock.
:Tyler says: hey no fair!
,Tyler query.,Monique none.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' I Like Traffic Lights '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says: so...you wanted to be gay?
:Tyler says: maybe.
,Tyler coffee.,Monique query.
:Monigue says: but, you like girls.
:Tyler says: relative to what?
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
,Tyler news.,Monique silent.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Born to be Kings '
written by
Goatlord
television blares! american idol. there can be only one. who will it be?
,Tyler news.,Monique news.
:Tyler says: the one with the sharpest sword, perhaps?
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique news.
television blares! charlie’s angels. there can be only three.
:Monigue says: no, tyler.
:Tyler says: oh c’mon! they’re gagging for it.
,Tyler query.,Monique news.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' The Other, Other White Meat '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says: we’re having people for dinner next saturday so don’t make any last minute plans.
:Tyler says: again?
,Tyler query.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: we only do this every few weeks and it’s not like we go out of our way to do things as a couple.
:Tyler says: there’s the hamster thing.
:Monigue says: yes, there is the hamster thing.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: can we at least stay away from the jones family. i’ve had mrs jones stuck in my teeth all week and an irritable bowel. i’m sure she was a vegan, the bitch.
:Monigue says: ok then, how about the pavarottis? they’ve just emigrated from italy.
:Tyler says: hmmm...it has been a while since we’ve had some good italian.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
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