Fuck
You
My
Darling
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' James Bondage '
written by
Dan
:Monigue says: cool gadgets, fast cars, hot women? james bond really is the complete male fantasy.
,Tyler news.,Monique news.
:Tyler says: of course the best bit is that whenever he has a one night stand someone creeps in, under the cover of darkness and murders the girl before things get awkward.
:Monigue says: that’s very cynical tyler.
,Tyler coffee.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: hey! say what you want, i’ve never seen a scene where james bond leans over then whispers in her ear,..
:Tyler says: soo, ah,.. this has been great,... um,.. should i call you a cab?
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique silent.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Who Knows '
written by
Jeremy
:Tyler says: you’re not psychic, are you?
:Monigue says: no, i’m not.
,Tyler talk.,Monique news.
:Tyler says: good.
:Monigue says: don’t even think about it.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: you said you weren’t psychic!
:Monigue says: i’m not psychic. you’re just predictable.
,Tyler angry.,Monique coffee.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Eat my Eva '
written by
Goatlord
:Monigue says: i understand that ’normal’ is a relative term but your family gatherings are just... so... completely... fucked!
:Tyler says: that’s a fair comment. i must say that when i was a young lad, i would dream that my midget, trapeeze artist, biological parents would whisk me away one day to a life of high flying adventure in the circus.
:Monigue says: i wish.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: your cousin will has changed though. i remembered him as being...
:Tyler says: hippie scum?
:Monigue says: i was going to say, a bit alternative but yes, hippie scum would be more accurate.
,Tyler coffee.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: yeah, his new girlfriend is heavily into anime. my aunt calls it his, "chubby, junkfood eating, robot phase." i always liked her.
:Monigue says: i guess that explains the hair.
:Tyler says: oh no, they’re just freaks.
,Tyler talk.,Monique coffee.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Rascal Dog '
written by
Dan
:Monigue says: your stupid dog snatched the meat off the bench today.
:Tyler says: oh stuart, you rascally canine.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique talk.
:Monigue says: at any rate, we’re having stu for dinner.
:Tyler says: that’s fine. i quite like stew.
,Tyler coffee.,Monique news.
:Tyler says: wait,..
:Tyler says: what?
,Tyler shock.,Monique news.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Suck the Hookah '
written by
Goatlord
:Tyler says: that teacher friend of yours is an absolute riot. wow, can that man tell a joke! there was this one, a right corker..
:Monigue says: yes, dylan has managed to be the life of any party for as long as i’ve known him but tyler dear, how many times do we have to go through this? you. can’t. tell. jokes.
,Tyler talk.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: nah, this one is sheer brilliance. i can’t go wrong.

what’s better than doing the horizontal folk dance with a 16 year old schoolgirl?
:Tyler says: ...nothing!

ha, fantastic. you know it’s funny, because it’s...
,Tyler talk.,Monique silent.
:Tyler says: the pain!
:Monigue says from offstage: hi, therese? your daughter is in dylan’s class this year right? yeah, about that...
,Tyler headinhands.,Monique none.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Morning Meeting '
written by
Jeremy
,Tyler news.,Monique none.
:Monigue says from offstage: oh shit! my alarm didn’t go off. oh god, i’m late!
:Tyler says: sorry. must have bumped it last night.
,Tyler news.,Monique none.
:Monigue says from offstage: ahh! you bastard, i had a morning meeting with--
:Tyler says: with brad pitt. yes, you told me many, many times last night.
,Tyler slygrin.,Monique none.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Another Mother-in-Law Joke '
written by
Jeremy
:Tyler says: ... so i said, "get off my lawn, you old hag, or i’m calling the cops!"
:Monigue says: hahahahaha!
,Tyler talk.,Monique headinhands.
:Tyler says: you thought that was funny?
:Monigue says: well, of course. it was a joke...right?
,Tyler query.,Monique query.
:Tyler says: uh. on a completely unrelated note, there was a call from your mother. she needs bail money.
:Monigue says: i’d kill you now, but she’s going to want that pleasure when she gets out.
,Tyler guilty.,Monique angry.
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