F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' CD Burning '

written by

Dan

what’s that smell?

you wanted me to burn you some madonna cds.

the cd writer makes that smell?

cd writer?

my madonna cds!!!!

whoopsie. silly tyler.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Elephant Tangent '

written by

Dan

so, what elephants have the biggest ears? the indian elephant,..

or you?

have you ever seen ’reservoir dogs’ tyler?

you’re going to cut my ear off?

could be tyler. could be.

imagine an elephant version of reservoir dogs.

wow! you’d need, like, a chain saw.

yeah, one that could be operated without thumbs.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Handy Tips for Swatting Flies '

written by

Goatlord

handy tip #407

when using hand tools of any variety (esp. hammers), put said tools down before any attempt at swatting.

uh..tyler, are you ok?

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Turderific '

written by

Goatlord

guess what all the cool kids are drinking these days?

i don’t care.

jagermeister. that stuff is soo cool, you can’t be cool unless you’re drinking... jagermeister.

with all the advertisments, competitions and pub sluts, it is no wonder that jagermeister is the essence of cool.

prithee mr cool, may i assume you have purchased a quantity of this wondrous beverage?

i’m drinking it right now, mmmm mmm, yeah baby!

frankly, i fail to see how my vast repository of cool could possibly grow by me drinking the fetid concentrate of warthog diarrhoea.

i’m afraid your coolness quotient has dropped below any quatifiable means.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Hotter than the Sun '

written by

Goatlord

i thought i asked you to stop using my invisibility potion? it doesn’t grow on trees you know. well ok, it does grow on trees but it’s really hard to find, seeing as you can’t see it, see?

well?

i’m in the other room, moron.

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' James Bondage '

written by

Dan

cool gadgets, fast cars, hot women? james bond really is the complete male fantasy.

of course the best bit is that whenever he has a one night stand someone creeps in, under the cover of darkness and murders the girl before things get awkward.

that’s very cynical tyler.

hey! say what you want, i’ve never seen a scene where james bond leans over then whispers in her ear,..

soo, ah,.. this has been great,... um,.. should i call you a cab?

F#@$ You, My Darling!

created by Dan Beeston.

' Who Knows '

written by

Jeremy

you’re not psychic, are you?

no, i’m not.

good.

don’t even think about it.

you said you weren’t psychic!

i’m not psychic. you’re just predictable.