Bubble Wrap

dude, seriously?
whoa penelope!
that's really not helping.
pay no attention to the nasty man, penelope.
he's just jealous.

by Goatlord

Jealousy is a curse, just like FNYAR CLOR TRISPAN MOOOO!

Ok, maybe not identically so but if you throw a little salt over your left shoulder and lick the underside of an oliphant, you should be fine ... so long as you didn't read it out loud.
Then you're fucked.
Mi dispiace signora ma...

Go out and buy some cheese, you'll feel much less confused after a good slice of fermented cow squeezings.