Bubble Wrap

were you crying last night?
bob, i'm going to tell you what my scout master would tell me after any given camping trip, "son, kids are resilient. you'll get over it."
you were a scout?
god, i really think this is worse than being alone.
what are you talking about?
you, you're completely insane!
no i'm not.
no? on the first day we met, you were convinced that i was a figment of your imagination.
also, i'm pretty sure that just before we met, you were speaking seductively to a taser.
we're good friends is all.

by Goatlord

Good friends?! Good enough for a 3am booty call but not good enough for...

Remember your breathing.
Bitter is your favourite beer not you as a person.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Be one with the Cheese.

The Cheese will smite that scabrous trollop with a dose of the clap any second now.

(do the cool kidz still say "booty call"?)