ow...honey i’m home!
he slurs drunkenly after staggering through the screen door...at 6am no less.
sweety, i can explain. i was out drinking with the boys when i met this hot chick and well, one thing led to another and we ended up going at it hammer and tong all night. i’m really sorry.
right...and my uncle noel doesn’t have carnal knowledge of animals. what really happened?
ok, ok. i was out drinking with the boys and after we got chucked out at closing time, they thought it would be a good idea to duct tape me to the nearest roundabout....again.
oh tyler, you could have at least put on clean underwear before you left yesterday.