Fuck
You
My
Darling
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Urban Legend 2 '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says: you’ve heard that story about the guy who’s drugged and wakes up in a bath full of ice and his kidneys are missing?
:Monigue says: oh, that story gave me nightmares.
,Tyler query.,Monique guilty.
:Tyler says: a very similar thing happened to me when i was working at the donor organ clinic.
:Monigue says: mmm?
:Tyler says: only, i was drinking my 18th scotch on the rocks when i passed out. when i woke up, i was in a bathtub full of kidneys,..
,Tyler talk.,Monique silent.
:Monigue says: *sigh*
:Tyler says: and all my ice had gone.
:Tyler says: have you ever tried drinking warm scotch? it was horrifying.
,Tyler shock.,Monique silent.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Voodoo '
written by
Dan
:Tyler says from offstage: hey monique! you know voodoo dolls? well i just managed to cast a voodoo spell on a scale replica of the city of new orleans.
:Monigue says: fascinating
,Tyler none.,Monique news.
:Tyler says from offstage: and the best bit is, that it’s entirely covered in teflon. i just need to hose it off and it’s as good as new.
,Tyler none.,Monique news.
:Monigue says: voodoo, yeesh! like that would ever work.
,Tyler none.,Monique coffee.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' To bleed, or not to bleed. '
written by
Stumpybear
:Tyler says: i eat the flesh of babies, i store their souls in bottles...
:Monigue says: yeha.
,Tyler talk.,Monique news.
:Tyler says: usually, i’ll wash it down with the blood of kittens...
:Monigue says: that’s nice.
,Tyler talk.,Monique news.
:Tyler says: i love you.
:Monigue says: what!?!?!
,Tyler talk.,Monique shock.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Bah Ram Ewe '
written by
Stumpybear
:Monigue says: heh.
:Tyler says: hmm?
,Tyler coffee.,Monique news.
:Monigue says: pussy.
:Tyler says: huh?
:Monigue says: pussy.
,Tyler query.,Monique talk.
:Tyler says: i don’t get it.
:Monigue says: and you never will.
:Tyler says: classy.
,Tyler talk.,Monique slygrin.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Arnhem eh? '
written by
Dan
television blares! remember you promised to give the stars to me, hajiki
:Monigue says: oh lord, not more anime!!
:Tyler says from offstage: it’s pronounced ah-nih-meh
,Tyler none.,Monique query.
:Monigue says: i can’t believe you enjoy that girlish nonsense.
:Tyler says from offstage: girlish!!??
:Monigue says: yeah! my god! if ’neighbours’ had killer robots you’d probably watch that too.
,Tyler none.,Monique coffee.
:Tyler says from offstage: in my opinion, the only things that would improve that show are killer robots.
,Tyler none.,Monique news.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Scooby '
written by
Dan
television blares! well, strange old scientist, my friends and our dog ’scooby’ are planning on spending the night in the old abandoned hologram factory.
,Tyler none.,Monique coffee.
television blares! the hologram factory? why, you don’t want to go there. that place is haunted.
,Tyler none.,Monique silent.
:Monigue says: these new episodes of ’scooby doo’ are very, very predictable
:Tyler says from offstage: don’t tell me!!
,Tyler none.,Monique talk.
F#@$ You, My Darling!
created by Dan Beeston.
' Pole Position '
written by
Dan
:Monigue says: do you think i could be a successful pole dancer?
:Tyler says: what? that’s ridiculous,.. you’re not polish
,Tyler news.,Monique query.
:Monigue says: i meant a table top dancer.
:Tyler says: hey!
,Tyler shock.,Monique angry.
:Tyler says: people have to eat off there. don’t even joke about a thing like that.
:Monigue says: it’s going to be hard to dance around a pole that’s wrapped around your pointy little head.
:Tyler says: i recognise this song.
,Tyler news.,Monique angry.
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