this was a great idea monique. i can’t remember the last time we got drunk together.
yes, you males love to equate drinking with having a good time. actually, i have to relay some important news to you.
i’m pregnant. your going to be a daddy.
what!? oh no, that’s ... wait ... that’s really great news monique! i’m going to be a dad! i am the happiest man alive!
really? that makes my heart swell tyler because i’m not really pregnant, however, your mum called earlier and said your grandma was run over by a school bus.
they just don’t make toys like they used to.
4. 8. 15. 16. 23 and 42 make up tonight’s lotto numbers.
holy snapping duck shit! we’re rich!
we have to get drunk ... immediately.
the next morning...
woo *urg* hoo. go to the bank and check our balance.
huzzah! i have returned, with a wise investment. behold!
sweet jesus no! tell me you didn’t spend all our money on beans.
what price can you put on magic beans, monique? they got the house as well.
the birds are singing, the sun is shining, it’s another wonderful day.
are we on the ’happy’ suppositories today?
getting there is half the fun.
you don’t look too good. would you like me to drive you to work?
actually yes, that would be nice, thanks. i haven’t been feeling too good since some ’actress’ bit me yesterday after i told her she was a "no-talent slut." i’ll just get my things.
you get the fuck away from me!
when we are old and grey, how would you like to remember our marriage?
i would like to be able to remember all the good times, reflect upon how we loved and cherished one another.
hoping the nursing home will pump you full of hallucinogens, eh?
if they want to get paid they will.
goddamnit! you out?
well, we tried, i guess we’re stuck with each other. you’d think one of us would have gotten in a lucky shot though.
did you hear the story about the woman who was so fat and heavy that she set off a spring loaded trap and it failed completely?
i’ve never heard that urban myth
you’ve heard that story about the guy who’s drugged and wakes up in a bath full of ice and his kidneys are missing?
oh, that story gave me nightmares.
a very similar thing happened to me when i was working at the donor organ clinic.
only, i was drinking my 18th scotch on the rocks when i passed out. when i woke up, i was in a bathtub full of kidneys,..
and all my ice had gone.
have you ever tried drinking warm scotch? it was horrifying.