i’m sorry monique. i’ve just realised how beautiful you truly are, i had forgotten.
oh tyler, i don’t know what to say.
... especially your neck.
shhh, say nothing my dear. just let me touch your neck, the way i used to. i must have it. let me hold your neck.
ah, i feel this is one of those occasions that can only end in tears ... yours.
i will love it and pet it and love it and squeeze it and call it george.
this was a great idea monique. i can’t remember the last time we got drunk together.
yes, you males love to equate drinking with having a good time. actually, i have to relay some important news to you.
i’m pregnant. your going to be a daddy.
what!? oh no, that’s ... wait ... that’s really great news monique! i’m going to be a dad! i am the happiest man alive!
really? that makes my heart swell tyler because i’m not really pregnant, however, your mum called earlier and said your grandma was run over by a school bus.
they just don’t make toys like they used to.
4. 8. 15. 16. 23 and 42 make up tonight’s lotto numbers.
holy snapping duck shit! we’re rich!
we have to get drunk ... immediately.
the next morning...
woo *urg* hoo. go to the bank and check our balance.
huzzah! i have returned, with a wise investment. behold!
sweet jesus no! tell me you didn’t spend all our money on beans.
what price can you put on magic beans, monique? they got the house as well.
the birds are singing, the sun is shining, it’s another wonderful day.
are we on the ’happy’ suppositories today?
getting there is half the fun.
you don’t look too good. would you like me to drive you to work?
actually yes, that would be nice, thanks. i haven’t been feeling too good since some ’actress’ bit me yesterday after i told her she was a "no-talent slut." i’ll just get my things.
you get the fuck away from me!
when we are old and grey, how would you like to remember our marriage?
i would like to be able to remember all the good times, reflect upon how we loved and cherished one another.
hoping the nursing home will pump you full of hallucinogens, eh?
if they want to get paid they will.
goddamnit! you out?
well, we tried, i guess we’re stuck with each other. you’d think one of us would have gotten in a lucky shot though.
did you hear the story about the woman who was so fat and heavy that she set off a spring loaded trap and it failed completely?
i’ve never heard that urban myth