hi there, is this tyler?

yes? who’s this?

good news tyler! on behalf of radio station 67.8fm you’ve won the opportunity to benefit from over $5000 worth of goods for an initial outlay of only $35

good news friendly telemarketer. thanks to my new inbound call tracking system you’ve "won" the opportunity to benefit from the fact that i work at a gun store and i get cut-price weaponry and ammunition.

erm,..

don’t worry, you don’t have to do anything. we’re already on our way.

*click*

i’m going out sweetie.