you know, you shouldn’t eat margarine. it’s ninety percent plastic.
i think what you mean to say is that it’s one molecule from being plastic.
well, that’s still bad.
that’s like saying that i should give up drinking water because it’s only one molecule from being hydrogen-peroxide.
i know, i’ll stop breathing, because oxygen is only one molecule from being ozone.
tyler, my love, when i asked you to pick up a replacement lithium-ion battery for my laptop, what type did you really purchase?
ah,... seawater and earwax.
owie! they told me it was a new universal type of battery that could power anything.
hold that thought. let’s just see if it can universally power your caboose!
what can you say about the kangaroos that hasn’t been said before?!
they routinely fellate diseased warthogs in the vain attempt to summon their one true lord and master satan, lord of the flies, devourer of souls and producer of those boils you get around the rim of your sphincter that really hurt when you try to open the freezer door just after someone’s shut it so fast that all the air has escaped making it nigh on impossible to re-open...
i’m pretty sure that’s never been said about the kangaroos before.
any other day i would have to agree but according to this article in the quibbler...
candyman. candyman. candyman. candyman. candyman.
she’s downstairs big guy.
it’s always been you helen.
monique! what’s the big idea swapping some arty farty video with my favourite cheerleader movie?!
yes you! why don’t you do something useful and answer the phone!
i think you’ll find it’s for you dear.
hello? yes. what?!
oh, you muthafu...
donkeys are by far the best source of vitamin q the world has ever seen. i know this because my family has been breeding donkeys for the past 17 generations.
phantasms eat regularly to help keep those annoying monkey burgers at bay. remember what they say, "a monkey burger a day, helps keep the giraffes from eating your small intestines while you sleep."
when i lick the noodles of my mind, i immediately understand life. i become life. to lick the noodles of my mind is to understand perfection as seen from the lickable noodles of my mind. i lick therefore i am.
reform no other before me, i am as the wind through the undergarments of life. i am the undergarments of life. i blow therefore i lick therefore i am. so it is written, so shall it be, forever more.