 you know, the most peculiar thing happened to me today.uh huh.  | i was walking along the footpath, and i heard a lot of yelping. when i turned around, there was a wild pack of dogs chasing after me.i don’t suppose you could offer any insight as to why that was? | well, it may be because i soaked your pants in beef last night... or perhaps the dogs just preferred something hairy, smelly and infested with fleas. |
it has to stop, and it has to stop now.i don’t know what you’re talking about. | that system that pipes ’scary clown music’ into the bathroom whenever someone is in there.there’s nothing scary about clown music. | i haven’t been able to,.. go,.. for a week now.clown’s are funny! |
 all aboard! | huff. huff. huff. huff-a huff-a huff-a huff-a, woooooooo!what are you watching in there? | ok, everybody out!some old gang bang movie i’d forgotten i’d had. wow, they don’t make porn stars like they used to. i didn’t think she’d be able to walk away from that train crash. |
| i was quite disappointed to find that the face on mars turned out to be simple tricks of the light.no kidding. | yeah, kind of like how you actually have a face but a trick of the light turns it into a crater pocked, canal fed wasteland. | if you thought mars was the god of war,....i’m already running! |
i got some cool noise-cancelling headphone buds.wasting your money on stupid gimmicks just to listen to music. that’s so lame. | music?oh, very funny! you know,.. you can be a complete ba,.... click   |  |
have you been sending me blackmail again? | what makes you ask such a preposterous thing? | i received some extremely bizarre pictures of black men having sex...again.oh, that. no, it’s just your early birthday present. |
| *whisper* *whisper* *whisper* | tyler...are you praying?? you do know that god doesn’t exist, right?monique, noooo!!! | pop! you know, this is all your fault monique.  |