my god! they’re everywhere! when was the last time you were in here?!
oh, it’s been at least a week, i guess. why?
ants! a disgustingly large, infestation of ants!
i hear you can get a topical cream for that these days.
a large porn conglomerate in europe has snaffled up a medical cable channel in the us. they plan to introduce a programme dedicated to the therapeutic benefits of "fisting."
*cough* *splutter* the therapeutic benefits of...how the hell do they think they’re going to do that?!
one inch at a time. one inch, at a time.
dear lord! that fancy new coffee you bought is awful!
don’t blame me, you made it this mor....dear lord!
wait a minute, fancy new coffee from a pretty ’urn’ shaped container?
that’s the one. perhaps we could give the rest to one of your relatives we don’t like.
one of my relatives!? that’s rich, you stupid bastard! we’re drinking grandma!
the traditional setup
will you love me when i’m old and wrinkled?
the traditional punchline
of course i do dear.
tyler’s actual answer
don’t be retarded you slack mole.
so, how was that jazz cd my cousin gave you?
i say hello to him once at one of your godawful family gettogethers and he thinks i’m his ticket to stardom.
a regular band will usually play music with instruments. whatever the hell your cousin was doing would be best adopted as an "interrogation" method at guantanamo bay.
not as good as he says he is, huh?
hardly. i thought i was listening to a horn and elephant scrotum orgy. naturally, my producer friends loved it.
darling, i was looking over the credit card bills, and i found an unusual charge.
it wasn’t a hooker!
i didn’t say it was...
oh. good! nevermind then.
you hired a hooker?
nah. it’s just porn.
so we still have to have sex?
this place is so dusty.
then maybe you should do some dusting.
i’m not doing dusting. that’s a chick’s job.
a chick’s job?
yeah. hey, where are you going?
to get a broom.
you better start running.