handy tip #407 | when using hand tools of any variety (esp. hammers), put said tools down before any attempt at swatting. | uh..tyler, are you ok? |
guess what all the cool kids are drinking these days? i don’t care. jagermeister. that stuff is soo cool, you can’t be cool unless you’re drinking... jagermeister. | with all the advertisments, competitions and pub sluts, it is no wonder that jagermeister is the essence of cool. prithee mr cool, may i assume you have purchased a quantity of this wondrous beverage? i’m drinking it right now, mmmm mmm, yeah baby! | frankly, i fail to see how my vast repository of cool could possibly grow by me drinking the fetid concentrate of warthog diarrhoea. i’m afraid your coolness quotient has dropped below any quatifiable means. |
i thought i asked you to stop using my invisibility potion? it doesn’t grow on trees you know. well ok, it does grow on trees but it’s really hard to find, seeing as you can’t see it, see? | well? | i’m in the other room, moron. |
cool gadgets, fast cars, hot women? james bond really is the complete male fantasy. | of course the best bit is that whenever he has a one night stand someone creeps in, under the cover of darkness and murders the girl before things get awkward. that’s very cynical tyler. | hey! say what you want, i’ve never seen a scene where james bond leans over then whispers in her ear,.. soo, ah,.. this has been great,... um,.. should i call you a cab? |
you’re not psychic, are you? no, i’m not. | good. don’t even think about it. | you said you weren’t psychic! i’m not psychic. you’re just predictable. |
i understand that ’normal’ is a relative term but your family gatherings are just... so... completely... fucked! that’s a fair comment. i must say that when i was a young lad, i would dream that my midget, trapeeze artist, biological parents would whisk me away one day to a life of high flying adventure in the circus. i wish. | your cousin will has changed though. i remembered him as being... hippie scum? i was going to say, a bit alternative but yes, hippie scum would be more accurate. | yeah, his new girlfriend is heavily into anime. my aunt calls it his, "chubby, junkfood eating, robot phase." i always liked her. i guess that explains the hair. oh no, they’re just freaks. |
your stupid dog snatched the meat off the bench today. oh stuart, you rascally canine. | at any rate, we’re having stu for dinner. that’s fine. i quite like stew. | wait,.. what? |