written by Dan
We’ve all seen them a million times. Soft drink ads that propose that drinking them will make you faster, stronger, more alive. That reward hard working men for their kayaking of waterfalls, Their mustering of cattle.

Pepsi Max puts forth the proposal that you can ’live life to the max?’ by drinking their sugar water sans sugar. Parachuting, rollar-blading, Bun-jee Jumping. All of this made possible by drinking their brand of tonic.

Of course, no-one believes this crap. We’re all media savvy. Lord knows whether it makes you buy more soft drink but no one is dull enough to believe that flavoured drinks can make you into some sort carbonated superhero.

With this in mind it was to my great delight many years ago that Sprite? started up their compaign that involved people drinking their lemonade to prepare themselves for some great stunt, and then the stunt going terribly wrong. The tag line mentioning that Sprite was just a drink and that it quenched thirst but that was about all. Truth in advertising. Not Patronising the audience. Selling Sprite by telling me that I was buying it because it was a satisfying soft drink. I loved it.

Then they fucked it up!

They ran a competition which had an annoying marketing person saying all the things you could win by drinking Sprite. Then a cool gen-X dude saying that it was all about the drink, and winning great prizes. Then the market guy screams out, ’But That’s Not All!!’.

Jumpcut to the Gen X dude ’No! That is All. Drink sprite’.

In one foul swoop they managed to complete destroy the entire concept of the advertising scheme.

Fuck you Sprite. Fuck you.

posted at 3:55 am Sunday February 04 2007